Tight love
by Rococo-theory
Summary: Elena and Damon, young, impulsive, bohemian, flat mates in Paris, decide to travel around France, however while their friendship appeared to be an asset at first, it soon becomes an enigma, as both discover unknown feelings. AU. AH.
1. Lantern

_**Lantern.**_

_****_**I**

The remains of the milkshake were poured down the drain. The red, scarlet cherry slipped away and was lost. Outside the frightful storm still held on. In the kitchen everyone was bustling about attempting to remain composed and at work, despite the quite obvious lack of customers. Only Elena sat on the mint green bar stool, drank her coffee and scribbled vague phrases across the worn pages of her book. Her eyes were engaged with the paper before her, but she really did observe the quiet rustle of her fellow workers. It was ten minutes to closing time and there was only one customer. She deduced that people simply had nothing better to do. Elena stood up, muttered her goodbyes and then slowly began to walk towards the terror of the storm of rain, hail, lightning and thunder outside. It was early in June and yet the sharp wind had ripped leaves off the brightly green trees and swirled them around.

Elena came home. Home was where amongst the dim lights of the few small lamps, there was only the golden beige sofa and the wall of shelves with every literary work available. There was also the small kitchen, in colours of dim and obscure lemon, and the two white framed windows, through which the powerful gust of wind rushed in. Upon the sofa lay a figure of dishevelled hair, unshaved in a black shirt and jeans, oblivious to any outside motion, but the one in his dreams. Elena went to her room. It was pointless to wake him as she knew he would not appreciate it. She put on her blue sweater, beige pyjama bottoms and warm grey socks and then went to the kitchen and made black coffee, which she took with two sugars and cucumber and tuna sandwiches to satisfy her nightly appetite. The she quietly tiptoed to her room again and then sat down upon her bed and ate whilst flipping through her pages of rococo art. Elena studied the history of art. It was what she had always loved. History in general and it always pleased her that she had succeeded in following her early childhood aspirations. In her room there was nothing but a bed, messily arranged, yet held warmth due to the dusty rose sheets, a stack of books, currently reading and to read and a bite-size armoire, upon which was a vintage mirror with golden frame work and also small objects such as a bracelet she always wore, a perfume she had always worn, candles that she could not do without and her tea cup. Elena devoted herself entirely to her book and slowly descended into a state of oblivious pondering.

At around midnight her door was opened with a gentle knock.

"Elena, are you up?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"I was just wondering. Are you going to the store tomorrow? We haven't much of anything in our kitchen,"

"I'll go. I need the reason to go out,"

"Buy more coffee. Heaps of it. There is never enough,"

"One man's coffee, is another man's tea,"

Damon smiled and then came to her bed and sat down on the side.

"What are you doing?"

"Studying unlike some of us. I haven't seen you do anything productive for months. I worry you know,"

"The bohemian in me has flared up. I can't seem to tame my artistic influence. Ever since Katherine and I parted ways, for the umpteenth time, I can't calm down. I'm always on the verge of anxiousness. It's driving me insane. But oh well, what can one do?"

"Do not let your depression overtake you. I know it's tempting, but don't. We need to go somewhere tomorrow. Have a calm afternoon at some café. We haven't been out in a long time. You have always been cooped up in your room,"

"I would gladly go. At least you can get me out of the house," Damon dropped down beside Elena and looked up at her doe eyes, smiling down at him. Damon slightly hit her button nose and then curled up to sleep. He was soon breathing deeply beside her as she wrote notes in her book and then just past two o'clock, Elena switched off the light and fell asleep.

**II**

The morning was grey and foggy. The streets were still damp from the heavy rain and from trees were dripping down the fresh morning rain droplets. The window was steamed up. Elena opened her eyes and rubbed out the sleep gently before taking in the greyish hue of the light. She got out of bed leaving Damon behind, tucked underneath the blanket and went off to make coffee. After putting the kettle on to boil, Elena made some toast and some scrambled eggs, thus using up the last of their reserves. As she drank her coffee and ate her breakfast, waiting for the unresponding Damon to wake up, Elena pondered the very complicated nature of their friendship. She searched through her notes and found an entry from almost one year ago when it all had begun. It was written almost in prose as she was prone to do and went something like this;

_Cherries have begun to turn rosy and bloom. Somehow life too has finally become a little brighter along with this spring event. There was loneliness in this apartment, but no longer. It was a café where the meeting took place, amongst dark tables of cherry wood and small snowy white cups of coffee, two similar souls met and first impressions never lie. The apartment will now have the presence of a man. Someone who can appreciate art, literature, coffee and simplicity, minimalism yet a touch of simple elegance. Similar. Like I said. In his air there is nothing played up, obnoxious or irritating. Now under the same roof there will be another romantically lonely soul. The happiest of small events eternally surprise you, unexpectedly. It holds much value. The cherries are also glowing brightly white. _

As her fingers passed over the worn and ancient entry, Elena's face was lit up with a smile. Just then Damon emerged from her bedroom and upon noticing breakfast cheerfully took to it and then joined beside her on the sofa.

It had never been romantic. Their relations, that is. Even though they were so alike there was something that kept them from embarking upon a love filled journey. Perhaps it was the fear of ruining something so sacredly perfect. Such a powerful connection amongst two people is rarely found. Damon and Elena just happened to be wonderful together, so beyond that exploring the mythical and mystical plains of love, seemed unnecessary and potentially dangerous.

"I love that you are always writing. I assume that the, if I may, things you write about me, presumably if you do, are not always good, however I like that you have an account of everything. Your unique interpretation,"

"I suppose that is what I'm doing. I never really thought of why or what, I just knew I had to write something,"

"Will you ever read something aloud to me?"

"I can't. It's too personal. And don't we already talk about everything?"

"I do, but you're a closed book. I don't even know any of your relationships. You've never told me. And I keep blathering on about Katherine,"

"I've had only one. And it was unsuccessful, there is not much more to say,"

"Don't you get angry or depressed, or something even darker if you hold everything to yourself. It builds up inside you. Talk to me,"

"I was in school. He was a year older. I thought he loved me. I wasn't sure I loved him. It came about that no one had the decency to tell me that he was somewhat of a womanizer, even though everyone knew. I had this idea of him – that he was simply charming and handsome, and amazingly intelligent, especially in all the things I cared about, but when later all was revealed, so to say, it turned out that he had strategically learnt each detail of my tastes. Somehow, even now, when I look back at it I still admire his effort, but nevertheless he broke my heart and it happened while I was still unsure of my feelings towards him. But I have learnt from my mistakes at least I sincerely hope I have. It is terrible to think how naïve I was isn't it?"

"You were just young. However, it's a tragic story,"

"It is, isn't it? I've always kept it to myself and over the years it has become rather natural to me, but now that I've said it out loud it does seem a bit gloomily dramatic,"

"With what did it end? How?"

"He was incredibly persistent, but I never gave in, so when his patience ran out, then he left me. It was too difficult for him to sustain his portrayal of a completely distinct person,"

"I could kill him, you know. He sounds like the greatest idiot that ever lived,"

"He was just a regular guy. You know what truly surprised me through all of it? It wasn't his character and his actions, it was the ignorance and indifference of other people. People who knew what he was like, but never told me. They knew I would not have been with him, if I had known of his true nature and yet they all stood by, as if watching a game, as if it were entertaining. It makes you wonder about the overall attitude of society does it not?"

Damon took her hand in his and squeezed it lightly. Her head of chocolate hair fell upon his shoulder as he continued to drink his coffee. There was something about this girl, which intrigued him greatly. Heart and mind were arguing about his feelings and notions, because Damon could not comprehend what he himself thought. It was a very perturbing ordeal as he knew that if Elena would be with someone he would be perhaps too protective of her and perhaps, yes, perhaps he would even be jealous, because he would know that their time, their exclusive company, would be disturbed by an outsider, who would receive more attention than him. Damon pondered over this, while finishing his breakfast and then he whispered that they should get ready and go out. And so they did.

**III**

They sat in the quiet café and as Elena pushed her coffee cup between her hands upon the cold surface of the table Damon was pensively pondering over which pastry to take. Their life was a series of café's, coffees, books, rainy days, studying and cooking. Damon and Elena had successfully managed to bumble through life without being serious adults or having any real problems in their lives, except of course for emotional ones due to a broken heart. As they pondered to themselves what was to be the next step in their adventure of passive and quiet pleasures, Elena radically came to a stop at an idea which first seemed difficult to realise, but the more thought she gave it, the greater it formed until finally it was clear enough to be said aloud.

"Damon, we need to go somewhere."

"I don't quite catch your drift. Do you mean now?"

"I mean go on an adventure. Somewhere away from the known Paris. Travel. It would be so wonderful, you know it would! The two of us basking in the glory of the Provence and such,"

"I think that you're forgetting our limited means. It's not like either of us has money, and please be serious – you don't earn anything at that café, which granted is quite charming,"

"This is no time for insults. I can just feel the idea entering your mind. Imagine how great an escapade it would be – nothing but the nature around us, staying in these worn away small places or camping even, discovering small towns with history. The holiday is coming up anyway,"

"You know I like the idea. But it does not seem plausible. We could never be serious or responsible enough to make it through such an adventure,"

"We can do anything, darling. Don't mope so much. It's unbecoming,"

"All right. Let's say we were to travel – where?"

"Hmm, I know I want to see the Provence, but beyond that I have no idea. We would see. It would be completely spontaneous,"

"I have to think about it. I'd like it. But we both know you have always been the braver one,"

"Mmhm,"

Cigarette smoke filled the air about them as more friends and couples arrived at the café and took their afternoon coffee. Damon and Elena however sat quiet and still as they both could not say anything else after the idea already mentioned. It was something which excited them, filled their insides with not just mere butterflies, but stomping elephants. They were absolutely great together, so such a trip posed no problems in terms of intimacy or company, but more of the financial aspect and also the aspect of impulsive adventure. Before Damon met Elena he was rather plain, normal as some would say, but because she always insisted that she saw in him some aspect of uniqueness and spontaneity then he soon believed it himself. Elena drank the last of her coffee and then they left the café to go out into the streets, where faint sunlight was hitting the damp surfaces of glass and reflecting brightly giving the impression of a lovely spring day. Together they went to the store and then came back home with big bags of goodies – coffee, milk, camomile tea for Elena, baguette, salads, meat for dinner, chocolate for Damon as comfort food, different types of biscuits and of course red wine.

Elena put her long hair up into a bun, put on her large sweater and comfortable socks and then went out into the kitchen. They were ready to cook dinner. Damon always cooked the meat and Elena kept busy with salad. They talked some more about the prospect of Damon actually taking university seriously, but as he himself soon laughed it off, then the subject was dropped and they came once again to the matter of their travel.

"I'm just pointing out that the less we talk about it and the more we actually prepare for it, is for the best,"

Damon shook his head with a downcast smile as he moved the pan upon the stove and poured wine into two crystal absinthe glasses.

"You know I am not able to do that. If you want to succeed you must take matters into your own hands,"

"Fine, then I will. It will do you good, you'll see and I just want to do it because it sounds exciting,"

"So we're settled then. We're going somewhere?"

"I suppose we are," They turned to each other in the cramped but cosy kitchen and both smiled. Elena through her blushing cheeks of having the boldness to be so determined and Damon through his love for her personality, which would not cease to surprise him. Then they turned back to their dinner and as Elena was done, she took the wine glass and stood beside Damon, leaning against the counter, observing his strategic movements. Her bare legs were elegantly crossed and her cheeks were warm and rosy with healthy appearance. As Damon glanced at her beside him, suddenly the prospect of their relationship perturbed his mind. He realized that perhaps he would be incapable of sharing the intimacy of a trip together with a girl he found so deeply attractive, without her even knowing. Living a busy life, granted theirs was busy in an entirely different way, to the customarily known one, he had always shaken off these sentiments of lust, arousal even, but the two of them travelling together, being in this solitude of two was bound to reveal his true emotions. Damon quickly came to and took the pan off the stove;

"It looks all right," He muttered as he turned away from Elena, but her hand pulled on his arm.

"Damon, be serious, it's not even close to cooked yet. Are you all right?"

"Mmhm," Damon said and returned to cooking, but Elena was left in a state of nervous worry as she began to wonder whether Damon's attitude was not entirely her fault. She had been so persistent with this trip, that maybe Damon had turned cold toward her, had been irritated by her even. Elena patted him on the shoulder for encouragement and then went to the sofa and curled up in the corner, taking the pillow in her hand. It was getting dark outside and small birds chirped beside their window. Elena's eyes teared up suddenly with no reason and it took all she had to scare them away. Perhaps she was becoming too sensitive, but then again it could be profound anxiousness over losing what they had. Elena liked Damon. There had been a time, when she had felt something slightly stronger for him in terms of love, but now she wasn't sure anymore. It always happened so in her life that her emotions became unclear and to explain them would take a great amount of effort, so she simply dealt with the uncertainty of her own notions. As she now sat quiet and intimidated and awaited dinner Elena was pondering over how to make things right again.

They stood far apart – Damon in the kitchen, Elena by the bookshelves. This distance was almost unnatural. As Damon announced that dinner was ready, Elena unhurriedly walked to the kitchen. She put out the plates, all the while avoiding Damon's gaze, and put the food upon them. They took their plates and wine glasses and went to the sofa, where they ate exchanging awkward glances all the while. Somehow from utter cheerfulness they had reached a stage of embarrassing shyness, due to their unrevealed feelings, but neither of them felt like they could ever act upon them, their friendship was sacred. But something was bound to happen.

After dinner as Elena washed the plates Damon came to the kitchen. He carried the wine glasses and knowing full well that they would probably take their tea now, he reached to put the glasses in the sink. Before him stood Elena, who at that moment wished to turn around and get the glasses herself and as they stood in front of one another, staring intensely into each other's eyes – the raven black and stormy blue one's meeting, for a moment they had a glimpse, a spark of what it would be like. The passion flamed up, but then it died down as Elena escaped from his near embrace and went to the bathroom. Damon finished washing the plates, having no other thought but the one what it would have been like to have kissed her, then and there. To not have to care about all they had had before, but just approach it differently. To be able to love her, without worrying she would shoot him down. Elena returned anxious inside, but smiled at him nevertheless, from underneath her waves of hair and then put the kettle on to boil, pretending as if nothing had happened. Nothing had, in fact, but somehow it did not feel like it.

They had their tea cups in hand and were sitting in Elena's bed, as they usually did. Beside Elena's bed there shone a dimly yellow lamp and upon the armoire the candles were flickering gently, imitating the tension in the ambiance.

"Will you read to me?"

"I haven't done that in a long time,"

"I know. I've been busy as you said. I'd like it. Please," Damon looked at her with his pleading eyes.

"All right. But it will not be my fault if you will not like what I read,"

"It won't matter,"

Elena took a book off her stack and then turned to the page she had folded down; it was a rather bad habit.

"But even friendship like our heroes'  
Exist no more; for we've outgrown  
All sentiments and deem men zeroes-  
Except of course ourselves alone.  
We all take on Napoleon's features,  
And millions of our fellow creatures  
Are nothing more to us than tools...  
Since feelings are for freaks and fools.  
Eugene, of course, had keen perceptions  
And on the whole despised mankind,  
Yet wasn't, like so many, blind;  
And since each rule permits exceptions,  
He did respect a noble few,  
And, cold himself, gave warmth its due."

Damon listened intently to the words of '_Eugene Onegin'_ and delighted in every second of Elena's reading as it lulled him into a state of calm transcendence. The candles soon burned out, only the lamp remained. Elena put the book down and got up to take the feathery duvets. She got under it and also made sure Damon was tucked in. Elena went to sleep thinking of nothing but what had almost happed that very evening and she realized that Damon was who she really wanted. And then she realized that they would be going on an adventure together. Just the two of them.

* * *

_**Notes/ **Hello again, darlings! This story is quite a peculiar one I suppose. This chapter was really an overall introduction, so you as the readers would be able to enter the world of their relationship and their slightly bohemian life. The trip might be long, I hope it is. I want to write, so that is a good sign. We'll see. For now I sincerely hope you delighted in this chapter and please be so kind as to review! Yours excitedly, Martina._


	2. Gold on the ceiling

_**Gold on the ceiling.**_

_**I**_

Amongst the empty wine glasses and still coffee cups, there lay Damon. His head was pressed deep into the golden velvet material of the sofa and his eyes were tightly closed. He was still dreaming. Of what he did not know, but somewhere in his dream, there were reflected his thoughts of the trip they were about to take which he both wanted and did not want to participate in. The thought filled his mind until he finally awoke and the first place his gaze turned toward was Elena's bedroom. The door was open, the bed neatly made and no sign of the girl was found in the apartment. Damon rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and unsurely stood up. He found his way to the kitchen and there he found pastries and the mix already prepared for an omelet - three eggs, spring onions and plenty of spices. The pan was out, so Damon got to cooking. Elena thought of everything. Despite Damon's previous notions that he would not appreciate someone taking care of him, he did not mind that someone being Elena. She had already gone to her lectures and he should have done the same, but he was still not out of his artistic phase, but what he appreciated most, was that at no point had Elena scolded him, for not attending university, therefore making him feel bad. Yes, she had reminded him of his classes, but that was what a friend should do, instead of pressure one into something, they have no desire to do. Damon was amazed at Elena's sense of responsibility and determination as she did not miss classes, but went religiously and seemed to enjoy them. Perhaps she had made a better choice choosing her course, than he had.

Damon sat on the sofa and ate his breakfast, his omelet – scrambled and golden yellow, his toast – crispy and with an amber undertone, and his black coffee with two sugars, which trickled down his throat and made him yearn for a cigarette. As he sat by the window and let the smoke out of his lungs, he pondered that perhaps it was wise to drop smoking before their trip, otherwise he would not be able to keep up with the energetic and healthily glowing Elena. The more he imagined scenes from what was to come, the more he wanted them to be in his life already. But what's most important is that the more he thought of Elena the more he found that it was inevitable that he would make a pass at her. She was not leaving his consciousness, even for a breath.

Around noon Damon decided to leave the apartment – he had already cleaned up as well as he could and aired out all the rooms so Elena wouldn't know he was smoking in the apartment again. He knew that even though she didn't say anything, she did not find the after taste of the cigarette smoke appealing. As he headed out – through the small streets of Paris, he kept looking up admiring every house there was and its overgrown flowerbed from which spilling forth there were blossoms of red, violet, blue and yellow. The streets were rather full of bustling young people and tourists, who seemed as if they had some place to go. Damon on the other hand didn't. Completely given up on his studies, at least for the present, he had lost his purpose and he supposed he could find it through his drawing, but somehow his yearning to draw had made him repulsed by the whole idea in general. After such a pensive stroll he ended up, where he usually found himself – waiting by the university for Elena. He thought he fitted in with the scene. The rushing hipsters or quietly strolling youngsters with glasses. He wore his black sunglasses and black tee and blue jeans and for the umpteenth time in his life felt almost too good about himself. Damon was never sure whether one was allowed to feel like this or wasn't, but whenever Elena came he knew that together they were the perfect pair.

And so she did. Elena entered into the bright sunshine from the gray cell of the university halls – her brownie hair caressing her face, clearly irritating her, but creating the perfect view for Damon in her short and loose floral dress, that fitted her tiny wasp waist to the inch. She came up to Damon and placed a kiss on his cheek, leaving him breathless for a mere second.

"I really don't understand you Damon. If you are willing to make the effort to actually come to the university why can't you go to the classes? "

"It is a very complicated question. I don't know. Perhaps I am just afraid of the dreary auditoriums. And it is so much more pleasant to just come and see you. Here in the sunshine. I don't think you should complain,"

"You know," Elena began as she put her arm under his elbow and started walking, "You're not the only one to abandon me. I just found out today that Caroline is dropping our course together as well. Why? She won't say. She also mentioned that it is complicated. Sometimes I begin to wonder if I am not the only responsible and sane person around,"

"You most certainly are," Damon smiled or grinned more like.

"Let's not talk about that. It depresses me. Soon I will be the only person sitting in that auditorium. Did you do anything productive with your day?"

"No, not at all. Unless you call pensive strolling productive,"

"That is precisely why we must take this trip somewhere, because you are going into a rut. A rut of laziness and utter procrastination,"

"I completely agree with you. I have nothing against the trip any more. We will do it as soon as the holidays come. It will be a blast, I'm sure,"

They approached a brasserie and then settled there to have lunch, As the soft midday sunshine was hitting their table Damon remained with his black shades and smoked a cigarette meanwhile looking terribly like a character out of a 50s film. Elena gazed at the flowerbed beside her and at the gloriously decorated walls. They were shades of vanilla and flamingo pink depicting the classic 18th century pattern. Damon extinguished his cigarette and then gazed at Elena sipping her afternoon coffee.

"Elena, this trip, it will be all right won't it? It won't change anything?"

"I don't know. I've wondered about that. But we live together anyway, so I don't think you could unnerve me during a trip,"

"Yes, but I believe that we will escape society and there in the lonesomeness and solitude of each other's company, what if something occurs? Something terrible,"

"As long as we remain who we are, and since we are both honest and sensible people with a rather free spirit, nothing should change. I sense that the more we talk about it, the more anxious we become. We should stop. It doesn't do any good,"

They left the brasserie and promenaded along the bank of the Seine. The little boats carrying people passed them by as they took slow steps and gazed at the grey pavement. The air smelt of water and coffee and they decided to change the scenery. They strolled towards the Notre Dame and there in the square, amongst the pigeons and huddled crowds, they didn't speak, but just sat and gazed at the now greyish sky. There was no sunlight to be found as it was cleverly concealed by a blanket of white, bluish and grey clouds. Elena leaned against Damon and closed her eyes. It was so safe to be around him and that's precisely what she wanted.

"Shall we see if there is anything good at the movies?"

"Oh let's watch something even slightly intelligent please!" Elena said turning to him. Then they stood up and left and wandered all the way to the Champs to find a movie theatre and delight in a film which suited their melancholic mood.

_**II**_

The next day brought heavily pouring rain and a certain dreariness. It was nine in the morning, when Elena awoke to find Damon by her side in her bed. He was staring at the ceiling and appeared to be thinking very seriously. Elena wrapped herself more tightly in her duvet and looked at him. His prominent cheekbones caught the dim light, his eyes looked radiant blue in the greyish hue of the room and his overall gaze expressed such depth and mystery that Elena began to wonder if she really knew him. They were not too familiar with one another. They were friends and that was true, but that was more so out of necessity for living together than the actual time spent together and secrets shared. Her pondering led her to the question of was she in love with him? Could she be, because for all she knew she was attracted to him. The mystery intrigued her. If he were an open book she knew that her interest would be lost. Elena did not believe that one should reveal all, because what would be the purpose of it, besides allowing people to take over your thoughts. Thoughts should remain where they are – in the mind of the thinker and that's why she admired Damon so much. He was thinking right now, but she knew that he would not suddenly burst out with words and she also knew that she didn't want him to.

Damon turned to her and smiled. He got under the other duvet and pretended to sleep, but he couldn't. Not next to her. It seemed too difficult to leave her and enter the world of dreams. So he opened his eyes and found hers – black as the night gazing upon him, pulling him in.

"Next week we're leaving. It sounds so adventurous doesn't it?" Elena sighed with a smile.

"Mmm," Damon nodded, "Do you want breakfast?"

"Are you offering to make it?" Elena said ironically.

"I suppose I could. But it is too comfortable here,"

"I know what we need to get our heart's racing," And with a smile Elena was momentarily up and in her pyjamas pulled Damon out of the bed and threw him his coat and took hers. With her in the lead they were out the door and on the street in a mere moment. Damon looked gloomily about him and up at the greyish sky, letting tiny drops of rain trickle down his face.

"Damon, don't brood so much! Let's run through the rain! A morning stroll, if you will,"

"I suppose this is your free spirit acting up again isn't it? I should just give in now, shouldn't I?"

Elena smiled as only she could and it melted his heart. So when she took his hand, he let her in completely and together they ran through the twisted and turning streets of Paris, along the Boulevard des Invalides, letting people see their happiness and all the way to the Notre Dame. There they stopped to take a breath and as they stood before each other, drowned to the bone as two rats, they were smiling like two idiots. Somehow this idea had let them be free again. Damon had not felt free for a long time, even though he had dropped all of his obligations he still felt restrained and Elena being the responsible one whilst still trying to retain her bohemian nature had felt tired and weary, but the rain and storm opened their minds and hearts. Damon gazed at the vision before him – Elena had rosy cheeks and her hair was chocolate dark, but she looked beautiful beyond words. The rain had illuminated her natural radiance and he loved that she was always herself. She never hid behind anything when she was with him and he knew that. He might not know her in all her details but he knew she did not have a false bone in her body.

"We should probably return home, but somehow I don't want to. We could just bask in the glory of the rain forever, couldn't we?"

"I could with you," Damon smiled.

"Damon, don't," Elena closed her eyes and her long lashes fell upon her cheeks.

"I know it's something I shouldn't say. But why not? If I am feeling free, why shouldn't I?"

"Because when you start things like that it always indicates something terribly personal. I am not ready for that now. Not here. Not in this moment. Can we just enjoy it, just as it is?"

Damon said nothing, but took her hand in his and pulled her close. She could feel his body against her – cold, but radiating such warmth from his arctic blue eyes. Damon moved her from side to side, dancing to music that wasn't there, but the more they danced in the pouring rain, the sky growing darker above them, Elena felt she could actually hear the music. It seemed so ethereal and other worldly, but it was as if they had created it. Then Damon stopped them and they began their journey back – fast paced, but still more of a stroll, as if they were promenading the streets in sunshine rather than the heavy rain and storm, the thunder rumbling in the background beyond the ancient buildings of Paris. When they reached the Boulevard they stopped for a moment and regarded the little flickering lights of the many cinemas, the dim romantic lights of the cafes and the other couples strolling under umbrellas of all shapes, sizes and colours past them. Somehow this scene was what they took in – the city view. This they would take with them on their trip into the wild, the nature, where they wanted to get away from people, noises, tall buildings and cars and anything else that came with Paris.

Entering their humble abode they left puddles at the doorstep. Elena dragged Damon into the bathroom and there they left their clothes, changing into different pyjamas whilst turned away from one another. It would leave the wrong impression otherwise. Then they sat down on the sofa, nothing but the silence around them disrupted by the rain falling upon the windowsill and trickling down the transparent glass of the window. They looked at each other and after sharing a look, they laughed. It was a heartwarming laugh, because their morning had truly been impressive. Elena was a ray of sunshine in his life and she knew that Damon was the greatest companion to fulfill her impulsive ideas with. It was a match that resembled no other. After a while of regaining their breath on the sofa, which in the light of the stormy day looked like dark amber, they decided to make breakfast. They turned on the radio in the kitchen and amongst 1940s French songs they cooed and made pancakes, which they ate with raspberry jam and milk later. That was their morning. The afternoon was a moment of true inspiration.

As Elena retired to her room she had a sudden urge to write. She sat down upon her bed and with her notebook in her hands she began a story, completely abandoning the previous unfinished one. It was as if she needed it – to resolve her own thoughts, to play things out, to comprehend what she felt. Damon smoked a cigarette by the salon window, feeling the cold rain hit his hand, which was placed upon the windowsill. His mind was rushing and he knew he had ideas and he knew that now was the time. He would draw. It had come back. The inspiration he'd lost or forgotten to sense and delight in and so he sat upon the sofa and putting his sketchbook against his knee sketched for hours and hours, while Elena silently wrote in her bedroom. They returned to the world in the evening and thought it would be good to go out. Not for dinner, but rather for the company of strangers amongst them, which they would soon leave behind, when they set forth on their escapades.

_**III**_

The day had arrived. Bright and early in the morning at five Damon awoke with a start. He heard something in his dream and when awake he saw that Elena was already bustling about putting the kitchen in order after making breakfast.

"I'm sorry I woke you. A bowl fell,"

"I'm glad. I feel bad when you wake up that early and I sleep like nothing was happening around me,"

"I just felt so exhilarated I could barely sleep. Truth be told I didn't sleep a wink. I couldn't. Damon this is going to be amazing!" Elena wore her short shorts which had a minty hue to them, her white tennis shoes and a white top with small dots that was tucked into the shorts. Her hair was up in a messy bun but still appeared shiningly brown and sleek.

"You're all ready for the trip aren't you? I can barely see anything yet. I should probably learn to live your lifestyle, it would be better for me in the long run I think,"

"Hmm," Elena smiled and then carried their bowls of cereal and fruit to the sofa and jumped in next to him. Her smile was indescribable. It really was as bright as sunshine and so true and warm, that Damon felt he was betraying her by not being able to smile that beautifully. He still felt the same as she did about the trip, so at least he was delighted about that. Unknown to the two of them, but they were the reason the other was happy. It was a mutual feeling of trust, inspiration and cheerfulness. Their friendship, although a terribly complicated and undefined one, was so pure and honest that it suited them and made both their lives a little better. The rest was done by their strong will and spirit. This trip would turn out to be a turning point. A turning point which was desperately needed to complete them. Their mere existence was an event to mention, but when the two make a pair they become something that transcends all that is earthly as somehow their bond is stronger than they could possibly realize.

Damon ate his cereal and looked at her admiringly.

"What time does the train leave?" Their planned route was to go to Avignon and from there to explore outwards, not knowing where to go, but they knew that they would reveal something truly stunning, because France was full of treasures.

"In two hours. We'll make it. Just have to take the metro to the Gare," Elena said cheerfully and determinably and smiled like a happy dog. Damon laughed because she was too perfect for words and then stood up to pack his things. He unlike Elena had not yet attended to anything. Elena put the final item in her rucksack – which was her notebook. It needed to be with her. It held her heart. Elena felt fully prepared. She took her denim jacket and waited for Damon to get ready, meanwhile admiring the lovely morning. It really was perfect for embarking upon a trip – sunshine was brightly yellow and lit the city, the flowers came alive, the birds chirped, there was not a cloud in the sky and everything seemed to be without a flaw. Finally Damon appeared in his jeans, tee, shades put behind his shirt and his rucksack in hand. The two of them were once again a pair, even now travelling. Across the Provence, the countryside, the lavender fields, the small cottages – everything this country could offer.

"Shall we, love?" Elena smiled and they headed out, locking the door behind them and saying goodbye knowing that they will return as completely different people, with a completely distinct view of existence and anything to do with their notions and ideals.

The train with its blue warm seats proved to be a wonderful method of transport. Damon sat and read _'Rasputin' _by Edvard Radzinsky and Elena slept on his shoulder. After some time they arrived in Avignon. There they stood for a while in the station. Quietly preparing themselves for the adventures ahead. It was the calm before the storm of emotions that was to come. They were not nervous, just unsure of what was to happen. Both liked the mystery, both knew it wouldn't be easy, but the honest truth was that they didn't mind what was to happen as long as they remained together. Everything else seemed unimportant. After they would arrive, and this is looking ahead, Elena's notebook will be full, Damon will be artistically happy, for better or for worse and the two of them will have revealed sensations which seemed impossible, but will improve both their lives.

* * *

_**Note/ **Sorry, it took me so long to update, but oh exams, moving to Latvia for the summer, so many things to do, there was not time for writing. But hopefully now I will have more time and I will try to update plenty! Hope you delight in this chapter! Yours excitedly, Martina!_


	3. No light, no light

_**No light, no light.**_

_**I**_

When the day seemed at its brightest they arrived in Avignon. The miraculous impression the town left upon them from the moment they laid eyes on its beauty was indescribable. Damon proposed they settle down in a small cafe which overlooked a monument while they gather their thoughts on what to see during this first day of adventure. They finally, completely bewildered by the large variety of cafes, settled for a small ice cream stand. There Damon purchased for the two of them ice creams of the highest quality - for Elena a strawberry sorbet and for himself two scoops of nougat and vanilla ice cream in a cone. They found a small and dingy bench and sat there basking in the caressing sunshine and the ambiance of this old papal town. Elena took out her notebook and noted down her first impressions. They were not black and grey, but rather a rainbow of colours and buildings, and people who seemed interested in art. All of this surrounded her while she scooped her strawberry sorbet and sat next to Damon, who observed everything rather more strategically than she did. The buildings felt warm and sandy in the sun. Everywhere around them was a soft and pale beige colour that calmed them.

Damon and Elena approached the info board where they found a map of Avignon. Damon quickly sketched a rough version of it and marked on all the sights they wanted to see. Elena was set on seeing the Pont d'Avignon. She knew that it would be impressive and especially so at night, so she decided to wait until was dark to visit it. Damon voted for the papal palace and as the bridge was right there Elena said they would just see it twice then. They journeyed to the palace and saw it in all its gothic beauty – all its sharp edges, its greyish brick. The sight was magnificent and made them feel small. When they finished their tour of the palace and came outside the sky was an undisturbed pool of powder blue. Not a single flaw could be found in this great beyond. Elena took pictures of the palace and cunningly managed to get Damon in a few of the shots. He was staring off into the distance as he usually did and remained composed despite his wish to reveal what he felt to Elena.

They then found themselves in a petite café, where coffee was pouring into small flowery cups by the second and people were munching on croissants and sandwiches. They ordered two cups of black coffee and jambon sandwiches. As they waited pensively Damon was trying to compose his thoughts and feelings. He regarded Elena as someone above him, holding her in the highest regard as she sat there and looked at the rosy flowers outside holding her chin gently upon the back of her hand.

"Elena, what if I were to tell you something?"

"You are always so mysterious. Can you never be honest and straightforward and just come out with it?"

"I'm afraid that's not my nature and you very well know that. But I will do my best to be honest. I have feelings for you. Deep and unfulfilled. And they are so distracting that I cannot enjoy even a second of this trip without knowing if you feel the same,"

Elena's eyes took on a more sombre note as the brown colour faded and was replaced by a furious onyx black. She slowly and cautiously removed her hand from the table and then with the utmost of grace stood up and stormed out of the café. Damon, confused as he had ever been, followed her. She didn't stop, but just kept going until she reached the river. It was drawing upon dusk and the pool of powdery blue now showed slight hints of an indigo tone. Elena looked upon the river and breathed deeply. Damon took her hand, but she pulled it away forcefully.

"Did you think I didn't know?"

"I never know what you're thinking," Damon said worriedly, his eyes empathic in the most curious of ways. He'd never yearned for respect and acceptance from anyone as much as he did from her.

"And that is how you chose to tell me? So casually? As if it were all we ever talked about? You mentioned it as if it was a thing of least importance in your life. Did you wish to portray it as that? So there would be no chance for us?"

"Elena that was literally the last thing I ever wanted. That's why I told you. Because I wanted to know if there was even the slightest of possibilities you could feel the same. I am so terribly bad at showing any emotion whatsoever that it appeared careless, but this subject holds all my thoughts and all my mind and heart. I hope you can reconsider it as something different. As something that was revealed differently,"

"Damon, that is not the only thing I am mad about. I am mad at everything. Furious. Furious that you did not reveal this at the end of our trip. Furious that you chose that place and time. Furious that I cannot believe you even for a second, because I know how you are with women," Elena was out of breath. She fell to the pavement by the bluish green river and stared into the water, while she let a tear run down her cheek. It only accentuated her complexion and made her look even more beautiful, but Damon did not dare to say that. Instead he sat down next to her and took her hand in his.

"Elena, you are not like all women. You are something beyond words. You have let me out of my shell of conformity and breathed live and spirit, and adventure into me. Taught me how to be spontaneous, granted only when you are around, be fearless and open to all that life has to offer. How could you refer to yourself as one of my women? It is beyond my comprehension,"

"I don't know you. I don't know anything about you. Even though we have shared our flat for a considerable time, there has been no open conversation. All our adventures have involved laughs and fun, but never honesty. I have profound feelings for you, but unlike you I found it best to keep them to myself with caution not to ruin what we have built in terms of friendship and companionship,"

Damon took her upon his shoulder and they sat there for a moment. Amongst the fading day sky, amongst the river which tingled slightly with small waves and amongst the pale town. Damon had let out his heart and he realized that so had Elena, but within him, he still refused to accept the crude and cruel reality that she didn't want them to become an item. She was just like him in all aspects, so why would this be different. And her words about friendship had been false, because like she herself said there had never been any honesty between the pair, so how could she even attempt to base her reasons upon their friendship. Elena calmed down as she was in his arms, under his wing. She collected herself and then breaking from his hold stood up and gave him her hand.

"Come, we still have a lot to see,"

"And this?"

"We could just forget about this for a while,"

Damon nodded and with what appeared to be a smile gave her his hand and they slowly moved on from this place of true outburst of emotion and honesty. Elena had successfully created a surface, an impeccable illusion, for what lay underneath – the terrible conclusion that now everything was out into the open.

_**II**_

It was night time. The stars were out in all their dark lilac and golden platinum tones, as blindly romantic as it sounds, but Damon did not see any romance in anything that night. They had seen everything there was to see in Avignon. They walked and walked until they fell to the ground from exhaustion. Elena was glowing healthy concluding that feeling tired was all part of the adventure, while Damon remained quiet and just wanted to go to sleep. They had walked to the _Rocher des Doms _and taken pictures, enjoyed the panoramic view and the awkward silence between them. Somehow it was more comfortable that nothing was mentioned or said rather than that they would dispute about who was right and who was right in terms of feelings, because then neither would have won that battle.

Damon's eyes passed over her body as she lay on the pavement supporting her petite frame with her hands. Her skin was a creamy olive colour naturally, but now it was a delightful crispy honey brown after staying in the sun all day. The hues changed naturally and beautifully. Damon had acquired some sunlight as well, but it did not suit him nearly as well as her. Her legs were slim and toned, her face looked healthy and rosy, her eyes closed, her rosy lips in a slight smile staring up to the starry sky, her hair still in a bun, but in a few moments she would open it and release a wilderness of chestnut brown locks. She was so tempting to him, like in old cartoons those delicious blueberry pies that were put out on the windowsill, which were not to be touched. Damon knew that another conversation of their feelings was inevitable; he just desired it to be sooner rather than later. Her appearance so ravishing enticed him and he deeply desired to kiss her. He lusted after her and condemned himself for it, because he desperately wished to see her as a friend.

Elena opened her eyes slowly and stared at the deep ocean blue of the sky. Damon was beside her. He was always there. Being the sensible one, she started thinking of where they could spend the night. She stood up, feeling her knees pull her towards the ground, every inch of her body feeling the strain of a days' worth of walking, but she got up and mentioned her plan to Damon. They must find a place to sleep. After only a little walking they found a sort of tavern, where they decided to settle down. Since they were still in the civilized world camping seemed inappropriate. That would come later, when they would encounter nature. They got one room for the two of them, in order to save money. When they had put their things there they went out for dinner. It was a simple feast of duckling with apples and ravioli with wild mushrooms. It was however mouth-watering and when paired with a rich wine it seemed to fill them as they had intended. They then headed back to their hotel within a tavern.

The streets were near empty. Little lights shone brightly within the houses and upon the street. Elena stopped Damon, but when she tried to speak her breath was caught within her and she couldn't. They once again stood in silence. Then without warning the lights went out. No windows with light shining from them were around, so they were in complete darkness. Damon could hear Elena's nervous breathing somewhere close and suddenly he felt her hands upon his chest. He found her waist and pulled her close. Their lips met in a fiery and shattering kiss, which shook Damon to his core. Their hearts beat fast to the point of nearly exploding. They didn't know what they were doing, but as their lips caressed the others and tasted the wine it felt natural. So they went with it, being the impulsive creatures that they were. Damon held on to Elena tightly, her waist in his hands and moment to moment losing them in her hair, which felt soft and smooth like feathers. He could feel her fingers pass over his chest and then under his shirt and onto his back, where she held on more tightly.

Moving quickly through the streets catching a kiss whenever they could they made their way back to their room. The windows were wide open letting in a fresh night air breeze. Damon pinned Elena to the wall and passed over her figure with his hands, feeling the tiny waist, the delicate hips and her ripe, but prominent breasts. His lips fell upon hers and their tongues met in a passionate kiss while Elena pulled off his shirt. She then opened his trousers and then moved her hands to his face and then hair, pulling it slightly when she felt him push into her with his body. Damon took off her blouse feeling the softness of her skin. They were both warm from the heat and their bodies were dewy from being in the sun all day. It made the experience all the more intense and heated. As Damon kissed her neck and breasts he could feel her heart beating madly beneath the surface. He then took her in his arms, letting her wrap her legs around him and carried her to the bed. He took off her shorts and kissed her heat.

Elena's hand passionately grabbed the blanket upon which she lay. The white stripped duvet was clutched in her hand as she felt Damon bring her to the edge. The wind from the window passed over her face and caressed her, making her orgasm all the more severe. Damon's hands found her waspy waist and then her breasts which were concealed by a white lace bra. He kissed them and then undid the clasp behind her back. Now completely exposed the pair came face to face and felt each other's skin. Elena kissed Damon's shoulder and her hands went down to his arousal. She enticed him with her touch and then finally placed him into her. Their mutual gasp expressed their desire for this moment, for each other, these suppressed feelings, which were now let out in a wild and lustful moment. They fell upon the bed and Damon began to move within her. He increased his speed and felt Elena's hands move over his back in ecstasy. She pulled him close and while they both came to their climax she kissed him. The kiss was so sweet and so appropriate that Damon realized that he loved her. He truly did. It was not the spur of the moment. It was all the moments of their past put together.

_**III**_

They awoke very early. The birds were chirping pleasantly on the windowsill and sunshine was visible from the bed. The duvet was thrown upon their bare bodies and as Damon still slept Elena regarded him with an utter feeling of admiration. Their night had been incredible. The sensations he'd made her go through she had never felt. It had been an explosion of emotions and she felt as if this was only the beginning because it truly was. Damon opened his eyes cautiously. He was afraid it had all been just a dream. But when he saw Elena before him, her bare shoulder exposed, the rest of her tempting body underneath the white of the duvet he knew it had been real. He pulled her close to him, immediately aroused.

"Damon,"

"Good morning. I hope you slept well,"

"I barely slept at all. I could not stop thinking about what we did,"

"It was rather amazing wasn't it?" Damon said with a smug smile, "We make a lovely pair,"

"That we do," He pulled her to him so that their lips were inches away from one another's and he stared into her raven black eyes.

"And what now? Do you still want to forget it?"

"Never," Elena said and laughed. Her infectious laugh, which was so adorable, that Damon had to smile as well. "But we have to go. It's already seven. We have to set out early otherwise we won't get to see anything,"

"I would be fine right here,"

"Don't be silly. We are making this trip count. There will be adventures and nature involved whether you like it or not. Into the wild remember,"

"Fine," Damon said and moved his hand from her waist to her thigh. Then Elena moved away from him and sat up on the side of the bed. Her tanned honey brown back turned to him, the bare skin looking tempting as ever, she put on her bra and then panties. Then she went into the petite bathroom and he could hear her brushing her teeth. Damon knew that this trip was important to her so he got up as well. He would never do anything against her wishes. Besides he wanted the exciting escapades as well. Damon got dressed and put all of his things together. Then Elena came out of the bathroom and seeing him dressed smiled. Damon approached her and taking her into his arms kissed her, feeling the minty taste upon his lips from the toothpaste. While Damon was brushing his teeth, Elena stared out of the window. She could smell roses. Roses and lilac. Then she saw the flowerbeds right beneath their window and the violet lilac tree just a few paces off. The other little brick houses looked charming and she knew that she definitely didn't regret this trip.

Once they were both ready they set out. They knew of a camping site about five or six hours away from Avignon in a forest, so that was where they would aim for. The walk was partly along the river, but mostly through a forest and fields, which was exactly what they wanted. So they began walking. First through the city, still enjoying the people around them, but soon they were out into the country as they were walking along a road and then turned into the pathways of a forest. It was perfectly quiet. There was not a soul around. Apparently not many people used this way for walking. They had bought food the previous day, so they were set for lunch. But it was still far too early for that. They walked through the trees; Elena touched the rough bark and delighted in the feel of nature. Damon walked pensively and realized that all he wanted to do was draw. Draw the forest, the scene before him, draw her amongst all these natural beauties where she would simple look like herself.

The ground was rough; fallen tree branches were at times a slight obstacle, the soil was dark brown and firm. They came to a small patch where there were only two trees and the rest were cut down. It was already twelve o'clock, so they decided it would be a good place to have lunch and repose for a while. Elena took out their sandwiches and their thermos with orange juice. Their midday meal was modest but tasty and after they had eaten and chatted for a while, they decided to spare some time for their pleasures. Elena sat down upon a cut down tree and took her notebook. She wrote down details of their trip, which from her pen flew into words of a story. Damon took his sketchbook and drew her sitting there writing. The light hit her perfectly and when he was finished shading she looked near angelic. After he was done sketching he started taking pictures; of her, of birds he managed to shoot just as they were flying over the trees, then he walked to the river which was very close, just through the trees and made a record of this scene. When he came back, Elena was drinking the juice and had clearly finished writing. They took their bags and then began walking again.

As the cracking of small branches sounded underneath their feet, Damon began talking.

"Last night proved we can work,"

"I don't know about that, but it certainly proved we are something more than friends,"

"Yes, that too. But tell me, Elena, have you decided what you want to do after you finish university?"

Elena had mentioned to him that she wants to move to London and work there in a museum, if she would get a decent position. She wished to be amongst works of art, because it made her feel warm and cosy. She always felt like that in any museum she went in.

"I still would like to go to London. It is in a year after all. We don't know…"

"If we will still be together then," Damon finished her sentence.

"No. If we will still have the same thoughts. Not about each other, but in my case about London,"

"I still have the feeling that you wanted to say something else,"

"That's just your pessimism shining through," Elena smiled. Damon stopped her and pulled her close.

"I don't think I can let you go,"

"I know. I don't want to lose you either. Never. I would take you with me then,"

"I don't have the means to go,"

"I would…"

"You can't pay for the both of us,"

"We'll decide then. Now can we just enjoy the moment? Isn't that what I keep lecturing you about? And yet you never listen,"

"Mmmhm," Damon muttered and Elena walking close to him holding his hand they walked on. After only a few hours they would reach their aim, but that's another story. For now they were consumed with their moment of love and nature amongst the green moss and trees in the forest. They were impeccably paired with nature and that's why when they walked they disappeared within the trees.

* * *

_**Note/ **This chapter was so indescribably fun to write. I hope you find it delightful! More forest walks coming soon! Yours excitedly, Martina._


	4. Funny how love is

_**Funny how love is.  
**_

_**I**_

The green mossy forest grew thicker and more difficult to get through, but they admired the challenge. It seemed so surreal to be within these woods, travelling in a carefree manner and now on a completely new and distinct wave of emotion, which was almost a parallel to love. It was not love yet, though Damon was certain of it. Their feelings were still too fresh and undiscovered as they had just given in to one another. There was still some way to go before the two of them could call their relations love. And yet neither of them wished for anything else. As Elena walked before him with her quick steps, the light hitting the polka dots on her shirt, Damon still felt unbelievably lucky she was his. The light seemed dimmer. It had the same golden hue to it, but it was now approaching a soft shade of orange as the day went on. As they walked, they could see the sun through the trees, as it penetrated the lively branches and it was such a beautiful scene, that they believed that a moment could not become more romantic than that.

They stopped again once. They stopped because they felt it was their need to. Elena refreshed herself with some juice and Damon stretched his legs on another broken tree. Elena took out her notebook and scribbled something almost in a fit of panic, to not lose the momentary idea, but as Damon peeked into her notebook her writing appeared as if each letter had been taken ruffled and tumbled and then put onto the paper to declare itself writing. When Elena put her notebook down, Damon went and sat down beside her. His eyes met hers. They were both staring suspiciously and cautiously at each other, as if trying to understand what the other was thinking. Having no such luck, Damon attempted to find out her thoughts by interrogating her.

"Why do I feel like you still feel unsure?"

"Oh Damon, why do you mope and whine so much, when you already know I'm yours!"

"Elena don't mock me. This isn't me. I hate this. I find it completely ridiculous, but I can't think about anything else. You are so irritating, because you make me think these things!"

"I honestly cannot believe you are accusing me of your own thoughts. That makes absolutely no sense. Remember my way of thinking, when you get these horrible thoughts – just be carefree and lose yourself in the spontaneity of the moment! There is no point in you thinking them!"

"Elena I wish I could be more like you. You don't have a care in the world, do you?"

"There you are wrong. I have many cares and worries, but I don't let it show. I don't let them take over me. I don't let them influence my most wonderful moments, such as this trip. All in all they are a part of my mind, but I don't listen to them and take them on until I come face to face with them. It's as easy as that,"

Elena stood up and breathed in the fresh forest air. She put her hands on her sides and looked down upon the warm ground. Damon stood up and looked at her. Somehow the girl appeared sad to him. He didn't know why. Perhaps he was imagining. He went in front of her and stared into her eyes with the utmost of worry.

"Elena you make me nervous,"

"That is silly of you. We've known each other for too long for you to suddenly declare things like this,"

Elena just waved her hands in the air and then fell upon Damon, their lips meeting in passionate yet confusing kiss. Damon took her hands in hers and as they broke apart he tightened his grip on her. Now holding her tightly he looked into her eyes and pulled her close.

"I am so crazy about you, you can't even imagine," And Elena simply blushed prettily and then felt Damon kiss her. Kiss her with such fire, that she truly realized how much this all meant to him. "Don't you ever disappear on me! I know your nature,"

"Damon, I like you. Stop this nonsense," Elena said and laughed and then Damon was forced to tickle her. She squealed and tried to run away, but he held her forcefully and pulled her close to him, running his hands over her body. She felt so near to him in every possible way and she loved it. A match made in heaven, if you will. Granted their aspirations in life or their take on it might be distinct, but nevertheless the two of them combined knew how to complete the missing bits. After spending some time in each other's embrace amongst the mossy emerald brush, they set forth to the camping site, not knowing how everything will turn out.

Their walk from that moment on did not surprise them particularly. There were trees, a bush, the same chocolate coloured soil, the juicy, fresh sun shining through the woods and the company of the other. With the same scenery they made their way closer to their destination, taking in all the refreshing elements they had hoped to find. It was calming for the mind, because being on such a journey such as this they both had nothing to think about, but what was around them. They were not confined by the social restrictions, their academic troubles or anything of the sort. They thought about their pleasures, food, the sun, the trees growing tall above them, anything that seemed irrelevant in Paris compared to what they considered their everyday concerns. It amazed them both how much such a leap from society, the city, into the country could change their way of thought.

Finally after a brief walk, or what they considered brief for a trip through Provence, they arrived at the desired campsite.

_**II**_

They were greeted warmly and showed to a place where they would then camp. The surroundings truly astounded them. Amongst big and shady trees they settled and then went off to explore. The forest was there, but then after strolling through it one would find a stream and then a little further on the river. The place seemed truly magical and they were both glad to have reached it. Their stay wouldn't be long, because they still had a lot to see, but they just wished to enjoy what the forest had to offer and it was a good place to explore on foot. The woods surrounding it were enormous, so there was a good opportunity to get pleasurably lost in the wilderness of the emerald wild. They walked around for quite a while, so much so, that the sun had already partly set, when they got back. There were not many people camping there, unknown to them the reason why, considering the season and the beautiful weather, but they were just happier for it. As the sky turned partly golden lilac and partly dark blue black they settled in their tent and closed their eyes just to clear their heads after a day's walk.

After a brief moment, Damon felt Elena nudge him and as he turned to her, he could clearly see the two glowing watery black onyxes in the dark.

"Damon, let's go into the forest. I don't want to sleep yet,"

With no questions Damon followed her out of the tent and they wandered off into the trees. Staying relatively close to the camp, but far enough that they could barely see the lights it was emitting. Damon could hear the crunching branches beneath his feet and simply trusted and followed Elena, seeing her mint green tee slightly glow in the black darkness. Once they came to a clearing they stopped. Elena looked up at the sky and admired the stars she had so longed to see, but could not in her beloved Paris.

"Oh, Damon, life is so utterly beautiful that sometimes I worry if it will remain like that,"

"These thoughts are unlikely for you, you eternal optimist,"

"Everything just seems so wonderful, that I can't believe it. I know you were not enthusiastic about this trip, so I am sorry about dragging you here, but even you have to admit that it is too good to be true. Granted it is just the beginning, but beyond that we already know it will be great,"

"I know I was reluctant and that was stupid of me,"

"Oh don't start moping,"

"I won't, I won't!" Damon put his hands up in defence, "I promise. I'm just trying to say that I truly appreciate this adventure now,"

"Good then. That makes me glad. Cheerful. Absolutely delighted," Elena giggled. She went closer to Damon in the dark, having no idea where he was. She took cautious steps, so as not to fall over a branch or anything of the kind. Then she felt an arm take her waist and pull her to the side, indicating that she had not walked in the right direction at all. As Damon held her and kissed her neck, Elena thought she would burst from delight. There was the moon quietly creeping up above them, whilst they embraced and kissed feeling a surge of desire and lust overtake them. Damon's hands undid the tiny buttons on her shirt, revealing the lace bra, which stood out in the darkness. His hands passed over her bare skin, leaving Elena enticed and shivering inside. Her stomach was turning from pleasure as she let Damon caress every part of her, leaving nothing to the imagination.

"Damon," Elena said through kisses, "Should we? Here?"

Damon broke apart from their kiss and in hurried voice whispered; "Yes," And their lips met once more only now with in a rushed and hurried manner as they both deeply lusted after the other. Elena took of Damon's shirt and with her fingers ran over his chest, slightly scratching him, teasing him in a way, willing to pull him close and into her. He pushed her against the nearby tree – the rough bark pressed into her back, making all the sensations much more vivid and precise. Damon opened her shorts and pulled her lower body close to him so she could feel his arousal. Elena leaned onto him and kissed his neck. They clung to each other as Damon took her completely. It was sweltering hot as they moved against each other, feeling the other's skin, the soft texture, the goose bumps from utter excitement. As they both enjoyed the moment of pure ecstasy they dropped without any strength left upon each other. Elena kissed Damon's shoulder and felt her heart race against him. It was delightful.

The moon was now right above them. It illuminated their dewy bodies which were resting upon the refreshing cool ground. Damon breathed in the air and then cooed with a slight whisper; "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see,". Elena smiled. She loved that Damon liked Queen. She loved that they had the same tastes. And there in the creepily greyish and gold clearing beneath the moon, they sang _Bohemian rhapsody_, because it suited them. Their mood was neither a cheerfulness, neither sadness, but more of a calm acceptance and thankfulness, for being there together. They were trapped, as Vonnegut said, in the amber of the moment and were the better for it. Because outside their shell it was cold and harsh and society could not grasp their mannerisms and notions. It was just the two of them. There.

They returned to the camp glowing and excited, holding each other's hand playfully and whispering absolute nonsense in the other's ear. They went to talk to the owners about the question of campfires and were met with a pleasing reply. There was a fire. It was crackling with that pleasing sound only a night-time fire could create, the coal was burning with a purple and burnt orange hue and there were a few other creatures standing around it. Other campers. Damon and Elena were offered wine, which they gladly accepted as they could never resist the richness of truly good red wine and they knew that Provence could offer something beyond their imagination. They then took themselves back to their youth and far into the past, to a tradition never quite accepted, but frequently practiced. Marshmallows. They cooked delightfully upon the flame and with the wine tasted sickly sweet, but the sugar was refreshing and gladly accepted. As they all stood and sat around the fire they slowly one by one felt the wave of sleepiness overtake them. So after no more than an hour of exchanging and sharing stories of how they had come to be on this trip, they all retired to their tents and went to sleep. Damon and Elena never saw these people after that night.

In the tent it was chilly, but they had proper blankets and they cozied up next to each other, making the warmth spread. Damon held her in his arms in front of him and pulled her as close as he could. She was so lovely – the smell of cherries coming from her hair, her skin as soft as a dove's feathers and he knew that even though she had already fallen asleep, there was a light smile upon her lips, that never left, because even in her universe and galaxies of dreams she was still the most cheerful and optimistic person he knew.

_**II**_

The morning came with an unexpected and unpleasant surprise. Outside it was foggy. So much so that only the nearest few trees were visible. The ground was damp and wet and in some places muddy. But all this was not the most unpleasant of the day. Damon awoke first. He felt nervous inside. His dream had crashed his hopes of being with Elena and it had seemed so vivid to him that he still felt the aching inside. He went outside the tent and put the kettle on to boil above the lightly burning fire. When the water was done he made a cup of mint tea and sat down on one of the tree stumps. He was beside their tent and then he noticed something which intrigued him beyond his self-control. There was Elena's notebook. The dark blue covers stared back at him. He slowly and casually stood up and without much thought took the book in his hands. He held it for a while before even daring to open it. When he did, he felt the worn pages with his fingers as they passed through the splurge of words that consumed each page. It was clear that Elena desired to make the most of this one notebook. There were pictures and postcards between some pages that reflected her tastes as they were mostly of old polaroid shots or something to do with the roaring twenties. The writing was blue and black showing that Elena cared not about the look, but about the ideas she put down. They were full of outbursts of bright and trembling emotion. Through the muddle of scribbled notes he saw that most of them were about him or rather her and him, but because of his naturally bad luck, he could not decipher much of it.

Damon sipped his tea and looked through the pages, especially the last ones she had written. They were absolutely incomprehensible, but he understood some sentences and he knew she wrote in prose, so that didn't seem too absurd, when the sentences sounded slightly insane; "_The hate of the moment became absolute passion as we gave in. Both of us. Forgetting our stubbornness and what was right and…_" then "_The mind wanders when it turns to this. It takes such turns and leaps that one forgets what the original intention was and we become lost amongst our own desires concluding with…_", "_I know he cares for me deeply. I see it in the cold blue eyes. It frightens me at times to know that he would do anything to keep this. I am still unsure. I am still…_", "_The walk in the forest reflects us as amongst the truly stunning emerald and teal, and pine green we are nothing but wanderers without any real knowledge of our own notions,_", "_The night had true spark to it. True connection, not only through our bodies, but through the very act of us coming together as something more than friends. Still there seems to be something missing, perhaps…_", "_Is it worth sacrificing security for lust? Is it worth abandoning our previous state of relations to only give in to our most primitive desires?_", "_Sometimes I feel I love him. But I don't. I don't think…_" And that somehow broke Damon's heart. That she so hurriedly condemned the idea that she could love him. It was a rash sentence. Too fast. Too quickly scribbled. Without truly pondering about the consequences of such an action Damon decided to confront her as soon as she would wake up.

Elena awoke alone within the stale and dark tent. As she wrapped herself in the blanket, she peeked outside and saw Damon sitting there. The look in his eyes immediately betrayed his emotions. He saw his desperate sadness, but also the glint of quiet rage within the watery irises. Only then did Elena see her grotty blue notebook in his hands. Closed, but she could tell it had been open. At that very moment she regretted she had the urge to write so much. To spill whatever was in her mind onto the page.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me these things. You kept reassuring me, but that was all very simple a pretence. Did you need time to gather your courage to tell me that we shouldn't be together?"

"Damon you have your own misinterpretation of these things. And I cannot believe that to get an impression of my thoughts you would go for my notebook. It is an unfair way to handle this. If I am unsure, then I can be unsure, because those are my own ponderings and should not concern you. Trust me if I would not want you in my life I would very well say so, because I will not be held down, by things that are of no use to me. I want us to be together. Why wouldn't I?"

"You can say anything you want right now, but Elena, the words written in this book make me question your every word to me right now," Damon said in a quiet voice, with true hurt and pain in his gaze. Elena took the book from his hands confidently and angrily.

"You will not accuse me of being dishonest, simply because I have doubts. Why wouldn't I? When I blathered on about our friendship, did you even listen? Were you there or somewhere off in your own thoughts in which I was perfectly fine with the thought in the first place? Because I wasn't. And yes, I still am not entirely. But I truly want to make us an item. If we can become one. But if you keep being so invading, demanding and simply strange then I can't even attempt such an escapade,"

"Elena I am not usually like this. I take what I want. I get what I want. But with you I have to be unsure all the time. You make me unsure of myself. I despise this, because I know that it vexes you that I am so full of worry, questions and rude in terms of leaving your thoughts to yourself. I can't be otherwise. It is all you,"

"And do you think that this is the way for you to announce that we should be together? By telling me that I make you weak?"

"I love you,"

"Oh good lord," Elena closed her eyes and let her head fall upon her hands, "You have no idea what you are saying do you?"

"If I was convinced otherwise before, I am entirely sure about it now,"

"Why? Because I reject you? Because I am unattainable? I don't want that Damon. I know you and your women. And I would not compare myself to them as you said, if I wouldn't know how it works. It has to be otherwise. I want to make you for the better not make you lose yourself,"

"I will just go for a walk. I need to clear my head," Damon stood up, slowly put down his tea cup, all the while feeling Elena's burning stare upon him, and then went off into the foggy woods. The ground beneath his feet was so soft he could barely walk, he walked through the trees touching upon one or the other, when nearly running into them. The bark was damp as well and emitted a fresh smell that tingled his senses delightfully. Damon felt cold. The air was no longer summery. He walked on. But then he felt a hand clutch his shirt and pull him back.

"How can you even go away like that, appearing so mad, without ending this talk?" The truth was that Damon had nothing to say. He took Elena's hand off his shirt and held it in his tightly. His other hand drew her close by her waist, so that he could feel her warmth, which he so needed and then his lips fell on hers taking her and delighting in a kiss he could only have with her. He felt her lips and knew they were hers. None other could have the lingering strawberry smell upon them. Elena didn't resist. She placed her hand on his back and her fingers dug into his skin, beneath the softness of the shirt. She felt his icy skin. When they came apart, as both were without words, they just gazed into the other's eyes. Perhaps they were not happy, but they did see a light in the other's eyes. Elena arranged her blanket, which was around her, so that she would include Damon in the little nook. So they stood both wrapped in the blanket, whose blue and white striped pattern seemed to somehow hold them together, holding each other in the fog, not knowing if they would find their way back amongst the trees, but somehow it seemed so good to be lost, that they didn't mind. They did not care about talking any longer. For now at least it was simply a matter of feeling the other's closeness and the comfort, and affection.

Now it was love.

* * *

_**Note/ ** I am terribly sorry for all the delays, it is just that I do not have as much time to write as I would like to, so please forgive me and bear with me. Hope you found this chapter just as thrilling! Yours excitedly, Martina._


	5. French navy

_**French navy.  
**_

_**I**_

Though they were not quite done with this part of the Provence near Avignon, they thought it best to leave. The forest was charming enough, but it held too much power over them. It had a certain ambiance to it, that mesmerized them in the best manner, yet now that they had broken down their minds to each other in complete openness it was too inappropriate to stay in such a place where their revealed thoughts and worries still floated around upon the air. After not much ado they decided to head for Verdon Gorge and then after exploring there they would reach Castellane, which was said to be a charming old city, which held quiet and simple pleasures. It was a long way to these treasures, so Elena and Damon though it would be sensible if they had a car, to arrive there faster. It would now turn into a road trip of sorts. They thanked the hosts at the campsite and were soon packed and on their way to Avignon to find a car rental.

They walked back through the forest, now orientating all too well within these familiar paths, where the braches cracked beneath their feet, the sun burned their backs and the soft tree smell enticed their senses and made them aware of their surroundings. Though they had stripped themselves bare to each other in terms of their thoughts, it was still no idyll between them as they sensed pent up emotions which were only saved because of their closeness at a particular moment. They acted politely and reasonably to each other in the hope of not indicating any hidden regrets or feelings and yet it seemed almost uncomfortable between them to be on such a distant level. They appeared now as merely acquaintances and this was in desperate need of a change. But that was best left until the evening when all thoughts were bound to break out and release themselves in any case. Now they simply walked on. This time with a faster stride, because they wished to be in Avignon as soon as possible.

Due to their exhilarating walk, which had tired them out, they were in Avignon sooner than they had expected. Before turning to any car rentals they found a small restaurant and were inclined to have lunch because both felt like they could eat a horse. They both had ratatouille, pig's trotters with a mushroom sauce and then a sorbet, which they finished off with a cup of fresh and reviving coffee. They sat outside, the sun gently hitting upon their fulfilled expressions and they could see such romance in this that for a moment they even forget their petty argument and all that had been said. Damon took her under his wing and they sat quietly enjoying the green shrubs of the garden beside them and the old _vielle _pale brick house of the restaurant. It was a lovely place to have their lunch and after such a lunch they felt no need to eat anytime soon and knew they would be well on their way to Verdon Gorge before stopping for food.

And so they left the petite restaurant with all its flowers, tablecloths and wooden benches and went off to find a sensible car rental. Which they did. After only a short walk. They rented a small Citroën and then when they had arranged everything in the car, they slowly rolled away from Avignon off to Verdon Gorge which they were to reach in about three hours. Elena had her map out and was very intently looking at their destination and other possibilities for this trip of theirs. Her fingers passed over the green dots of the Verdon Gorge as she imagined how beautiful it will be to see the canyon in all its glory with the greenness of the trees and the dark blue river flowing through it. Damon drove the car, but could not help shooting a glance at Elena once in a while. How she placed her hands in her hair and tied it up into that adorable bun, which looked messily miserable, but he loved it nevertheless. How she crossed her legs and the light hit them generously, making her soft skin glow with a magnificent warm radiance.

As they drove further the light seemed to be left behind and they found themselves moving under a sky of grey and dark blue, which awaited them with rain in its mind. Elena merely closed her eyes and awaited the rain, knowing it would make her feel quiet and calm inside their small vehicle which moved forth rather clumsily. Damon however feared the rain. He didn't want the grey nature of it to take over him; make him say something he might regret. So as they moved forth they were both still, both for different reasons, and they had their mind set only on their destination.

_**II**_

And just as they had predicted after some time they arrived at the beautiful cliffs and mountains of Verdon Gorge. The weather was not very inspiring as it was pouring rain and off in the distance amongst the forests and hills you could see the thin brightly lit golden line, with purple haze around it, appear and disappear vigorously in the sky. Damon and Elena stopped at a parking lot in the mountains, which had quite a grandiose view of the hills, and there they decided to stay for a while. Until the rain calmed down. And until both of them regained their quiet ease.

Damon stared off into the distance beyond the steering wheel. And then without looking at Elena he began to talk. It seemed first to himself, but then as he went off to Elena.

"You don't believe that I love you. I don't know what love is. I have concluded that I love you. But then again what if my conclusions and notions are entirely wrong? What are we supposed to do Elena?"

"Damon you drive me into a fit of despair. I cannot believe that you love me, because I do not have any impression of your feelings towards me. All I know are my feelings towards you,"

"Hmm…"

"I am entirely sure that I love you," Damon looked at her finally. Somehow he was completely stunned. He did not expect Elena to say that. He had been sure she didn't feel so strongly towards him. Now he stared at her wide-eyed and awaited her to say something more that would perhaps assure him of her own words, "I am deeply and madly in love with you. You irritate me to no end, but only now do I understand why. I just wish I were not so unsure of our future. I have never wondered about the future and yet when it comes to you it's all I do. I look ahead, because I can't imagine there being a point in our lives, where we lose each other. I worry even now. And it's terrible, but it's the only thing I seem to be able to do. And you diminish my feelings by being ignorant towards them and I despise that. I despise the fact that you can't see how I feel and that you say such things that make me utterly depressed. I … I don't know what more to say. Sometimes I wonder if you even listen,"

That was the most Elena had ever said on this matter and she now seemed exhausted. There was a fire burning in her eyes and Damon could feel her heart racing from his seat. It somehow seemed to pathetic to say something now. Damon stepped out of the car, leaving Elena mute and dazed. She saw the strong rain hit him and completely drain him. He went over to her side of the car and opened the door as she stepped out. They both stood in the horrifying rain staring at each other as he took her face in his hands. Elena's eyes still expressed a sensation of complete befuddlement. Damon leaned towards her and kissed her lips, feeling her put her arms around him. She drew him close, enjoying his kiss, feeling the honesty of it. Feeling his warmth near her. They could hear the thunder in the distance sound off amongst the hills. It frightened them, made their hearts beat rapidly in terror. They were completely alone in this darkness of the mountains and shower of rain, feeling the lighting approach them, the thunder becoming more frequent and louder. They just clung to each other more passionately, kissing each other to the point of no end. Their kiss was so pure, so pure in its fire, its increasing strength. Their surroundings made them aware that they had only each other to rely on and so they didn't let go. Their kiss became louder within the sound of thunder. Elena's hands clung to his neck, Damon's wrapped around her to the point where she was so close he could feel his own torso through his embrace. They had no breath left, the rain drowned them, their kiss was too strong and locked to let go and so they lost all the last of their breath in it. They finally broke apart knowing that they could not stand it any longer. Damon let her go and then once more took her face in his hands and found her eyes through the rain. They stared back at him with just as much ardour and spirit as he himself felt. It was a testament of their affection, their love. Finally realising that they were surrounded by lighting they felt the fear in their hearts they quickly returned to the car, but both sat in the back seats, because it felt impossible to let go of one another. And they stayed there the duration of the rain. They kissed each other feverishly, fervently and with the last of their strength. Then they found each other in each other's embrace and caress, their skin dripping wet. They soon fell asleep, as the rain lulled them. The imagery of this moment seemed too terrible in the most desperately tragic ways of love; they were on top of a mountain, the edge just a little way off, the rain pouring down upon them, the lighting hitting just beside them, the thunder rumbling in the distance and nothing to hold on to besides each other.

They awoke to a very light and creamy sun. It was so very soft after such a forceful and sharp storm that they felt as if they had survived the worst and found themselves in an entirely different world. They stepped out of the car and still felt wet and dreary, but they could not let each other go. Their hands were pressed tightly together as they strolled slowly around the area which had seemed so large, but now was small and partly drowned in water. They went to the edge of the cliff and stared off into the distance. It seemed so very beautiful; the forests were there with no end, the river could be seen as a miniscule curvy line that separated two large piles of trees.

"Shall we move on?" Elena asked regarding the mountain before her.

"Mmmhm," Damon drew out slowly and pulling her close to his side, stared into her eyes, feeling his own tear up, he placed a short but deep kiss upon her lips and then turned her around and they returned to their small and drenched Citroen and then drove off, down the serpentine to arrive at the river at the very bottom of this curious valley.

The ground dried rapidly and so when they reached the path of _Le sentier de Martel _they could go there as it was not so slippery anymore. They walked this path, where at times the path was steep, at times very narrow and could see the river in all its majesty flowing quickly and powerfully, as it passed it through the shrubs. It was a truly refreshing walk which made them feel good and energetic. When they got back to the place they had left their car, they sat down upon a small curb and each ate a fresh and juicy nectarine and drank a cup of tea Elena had made in the morning at the camp site. It was still slightly warm. Elena added a little whisky to hers for warmth, because though it was now not raining the temperature was well around +15 degrees. She also took out her jumper with reindeers, which made Damon sneer, and put it on, cosy-ing into it. She let out her hair which was still partly wet and dried it in a towel. Damon meanwhile looked at the map, deducing where they had to go to reach Castellane. After taking some pictures of this view they were back in their car and drove on. Elena put in the cd of '_A night at the opera_' by Queen and as they drove they both sang to the songs and it truly felt like the road trip they had both imagined to have at some point in their lives.

_**III**_

"_She keeps Moet et Chandon__  
__In a pretty cabinet__  
__'Let them eat cake' she says__  
__Just like Marie Antoinette"_

And so they arrived at Castellane. They had changed the cd. They had talked. They had sung. They were now tired from driving and from walking before. They knew they needed a place to stay and they wished to have dinner as well. They found a very inexpensive hotel and rented a room in which they could barely fit in, but it's what made the place remarkable in its cosiness. Elena showered first and then as Damon was in the shower and made her laugh, because he was singing, went by the window. She breathed in the fresh night air and let the breeze pass over her wet hair and cool her down. Elena got dressed in a simple white dress, with small buttons at the décolleté and a lace rim and waited for Damon to do the same, so they could go out to dinner. They found a small restaurant which was welcoming and the cosy. For dinner they fulfilled themselves with a leg of lamb and potatoes and a dessert of a chocolate cake and coffee. As they ate the last of their cakes they fell deep into a conversation Elena never thought she would have with any person, not even herself.

"The future is a very unsure prospect," Damon began. Elena immediately regarded him with dismay, "I would like to point out that we will both finish university at one time or another,"

"Mmmhm," Elena agreed.

"And so I would like you to know that if you will have me I will go with you to England and I'll do what I must to get the means financially to take such a step,"

"Damon, you mustn't think ahead so much. I am not even doing it myself. But despite that what you just said now is truly too lovely for words! Now I don't think I could even consider going to England without you,"

Damon smiled with true sympathy in his eyes; "I would never dream of restricting you to Paris because of myself,"

"Oh please. You know how much I love Paris. Truth be told, as lovely as this trip is, I miss it. There is something charming about the city too after all. Nature has its perks, but the old houses and landmarks have their endearing nature too,"

"I know what you mean. I miss our quiet pleasures in the apartment. But look at where we are! It would be a sin to complain,"

"But of course! Neither of us is complaining. I won't allow it," They smiled at each other and somehow through all this, Elena's heart was now at ease. This assurance Damon had given her about their future was what made her feel at peace, because she knew that her existence without him seemed incomplete in a certain manner. It was not that she was dependent upon him, no not at all, much more the other way around; he made her feel free, impulsive and anything else that implied her openness of mind. After dinner they slowly strolled back to their hotel, holding each other's hand and after some way, Damon pulled her close and instead put his hand around her waist, softly touching the small of her back, sending pleasurable sensations through Elena's being.

It was too late to truly have any insight into Castellane, but what they saw from this old city left a very good impression; the streets were narrow as it seemed appropriate, the brick houses seemed to be very well preserved and cosy, especially so, they imagined, in winter when the whole city would look magical and otherworldly in its splendour. When they returned to the hotel, Elena left Damon there and went outside for a bit with her notebook. She went under a lantern, which had a dim radiance to it, the light brightly golden orange and she sat upon a curb, opening up the blue covers. Elena turned to an empty page. Only then did she realise that there was nothing she wanted to write. Somehow everything that had happened between them required no words, nor could she attribute any to the emotions she found within herself. And so without even glancing at their relations in terms of writing she described the places they had seen today in a manner of poetry, depicting their natural beauty, their slow way of being and how both she and Damon had found them equally stunning. Elena slowly closed her book and stood up. The light enlightened her features, which had a particular glow about them, as someone who truly felt cheerful inside. Holding her diary close to her chest she went back inside their hotel and into their room. Damon was sleeping, so she very quietly put on her pyjamas and climbed into bed.

Elena's gaze was fixed upon the ceiling. It was dark blue in the darkness of their little room. Elena sighed profoundly and with that she felt Damon move next to her. He turned to her side and slowly opened his eyes, glancing into hers.

"Can't sleep?"

"No,"

"I feel restless as well. I don't seem to have any reason to," He whispered.

Elena nodded in agreement; "I know. I suppose I am now just thinking about Paris. I want to go home. Yes, I still want our trip, but at the same time I desperately want to be in the real world with you,"

"How so?"

"Granted we will never amongst society, the two of us, but still being in this secluded place, just the two of us, it feels as if we are something else. I want to see us in Paris. As a couple. As something more,"

"You do realize that even before this, back in Paris, we practically acted as a couple,"

"I know. But we didn't do it intentionally. Now it will be different. You'll see, if you don't believe me. But I trust in the notion that it will be even more superb. Us in that small apartment, wandering through those artistically atmospheric streets. Oh how lovely it will be! It was all I ever wanted,"

Damon pulled her close to him as their eyes met in an intense stare, then Damon's lips gently touched hers and they were both quiet. And so they fell asleep. They still had the adventure ahead of them.

_**IIII**_

The next day they spent in Castellane consisted of a lot of walking and an immense time spent on regarding each building almost too intently and observantly. They were drawn by the mysterious age of this old city and by it's almost too beautiful architecture. They promenaded along the 14th century walls of the city, they found the hiking trails and slowly walked along them, drawn by the green shrubbery, the overpowering gorge and the sunny skies, which guaranteed that they would be sun kissed when back in Paris. Elena's skin had a very beautiful golden honey hue to it and Damon could not but look at her glowing skin when she walked in front of him, her brown her flowing majestically. At times Damon would quicken his step, to walk beside her. To see her smile, the kind eyes and feel her presence beside him, it inspired him so strongly.

In the city they explored the narrow streets, saw the places of worship, which in all their majesty had retained their grandeur through the centuries and overall delighted in the splendour of the touch of age in the small houses. They found a quiet café, which had other couples there as well, to have lunch. As they drank their red wine, before their meal was brought, and they proposed a toast to this trip, which had still a lot more to offer, they regarded each other with a sense of curiosity. Thinking ahead as to what was still to come between them. What they still might discover within one another. They both smiled and sipped the rich liquor, but the intrigue had been raised in their minds and with that they knew that Paris really would lift the unnatural veil off such a solitary trip away from the harshness of reality. Which was not to say it would provide difficulties, merely that it would reveal concealed aspects about their intricate personalities. Damon smoked his cigarette and then drank his black coffee as Elena wrote in her journal and he could not help but wish that she would tell him every little detail of what she was writing. For he did not know that she already did tell him everything, perhaps using a little less prose, but her intentions were true and honest so what we still need to see is Damon's passage to trust.


	6. Sound poetry

_**Sound poetry.  
**_

_**I**_

A very fine morning always takes someone by surprise in a very pleasant manner. Especially when these someone's realize they are in an old town, surrounded by a gorge that extends beyond their sight in all its beauty and they are together, in a small bed, in a cramped room, underneath dusky white sheets, twirling their fingers around one another's hair. Whether this is idyllic for everyone is highly questionable, but for them it seemed like heaven at that very moment. They had an idea of what to do that day, as it was only the bright and early hour of seven. Marseille. That was the much anticipated destination of the day. Neither of them had ever travelled so far south in France, so they found the prospect highly intriguing. It was a city, yes, but nevertheless it was culturally a necessity for them to see cities as well not just limit themselves to hiking in the wild and lovely mountains.

"I can't wait to see what's next,"

"I think we should get up. That might help in sending us on our way,"

"I am too lazy. Let's just enjoy this bed for a moment. Because we both know we will be in for a lot of walking,"

"Elena, I never thought you to be such a procrastinator," Damon gently hit her button nose, "Up you get!" And he sat up in bed and took the pillow from underneath her head.

"What are you doing! No need to be so rude!"

"Do not make excuses. Chop chop, we need to get going," With that Damon got out of bed and began to dress himself, while Elena regarded him with an evil glare.

"The one time I want to sleep, one time, you won't let me and pretend you know best," Elena muttered to herself as she wrapped herself in the duvet and got out of bed. Elena put on her denim shorts and her cornflower blue top, which delightfully highlighted her golden skin. Damon came up to her, while she was letting out her hair, which was curly and everywhere. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her to him, kissing her cheek from behind. Elena's face lit up with a smile and she quickly turned around and placed a kiss upon his lips. She stroked his hair away from his forehead and made Damon furrow his brow. Elena just laughed delightfully at his immediate seriousness and kissed him again, before turning to her things and packing them all tightly together in her rucksack. Damon stood for a moment and simply looked at her go. He was feeling very much in love with this fluttery and kind creature, who would not stop to entice him with her mysterious ways. After this moment of much needed pondering Damon took his things and they descended to their car. It was a three hour drive to Marseille, so they knew they had to find a place to have decent breakfast.

After settling in a café, they ordered their meal and just lazily sat in the ever changing sunshine. At that particular moment they were bathing in a pool of white light with a hint of dandelion yellow, the air not particularly warm yet pleasing to feel in the early morning. They were graced with two perfectly white cups of entirely black coffee. They poured in milk from the little cups and then delighted in this truly wonderful moment they were able to have. Moments like this remind us that we must be grateful for each occurrence in our lives, for nothing should be taken for granted as it is all a part of a grander plan which makes the most of your life.

Impulsively they decided to spend one more day in this neck of the woods before going to Marseille, perhaps even go there during the night. What they concluded was that they should have an extremely tiring walk. One that would strip them of their energy altogether, make them sweat; exhaust them to the point where they were cheerful from having no strength left. And so after breakfast they put on their ruck sacks and went to the edge of the gorge. They stared down at the way before them and just simply smiled. They made their way down the hiking path slowly step by step feeling terribly energetic at first, thinking that what they had ahead of them was easy, however as they walked forth their resources slowly diminished pleasantly. They burned out physically as they stepped on the pebbles, felt the branches beneath their feet, saw the dust gather upon their shoes and breathed in the fresh air of the forest. The people they passed from time to time were the same as them by the looks of them. As much as Elena and Damon were set on saying they were on this adventure spontaneously the reason remained the same; they were all on a quest for inner peace. Breaking away to such places of quiet where the only sounds are created by birds in terms of beautiful melodies and no dealings with society are required or what is needed to find the calm which tends to become lost all due to the terrible pressure of an urban atmosphere.

A little past midday they stopped at a small spot. They sat down upon the dusty ground, where they could sense little stones press into their legs. Elena took out their refreshment which was tomato juice. A bold choice, but they found it would be rather more fulfilling than anything else. And so they drank the thick and red beverage and looked about them. Quiet. Perfect quiet. Above them large and full branches of many a type of tree, the ground going up and down about them in a manner of mountains, hills and cliffs. Elena looked sideways at Damon and sneered pleasantly seeing him completely beaten and exhausted.

"You do know that we will have to get back up the hill as well?"

"Oh don't you start! Why did you not persuade me to quit smoking sooner? I feel dead. You will have to carry me up the hill,"

"I refuse to do so. You simply must gather the remains of your puny strength. I have never prided myself on being very athletic or anything of the sort, but next to you I could easily participate in the Olympics,"

"You are hilarious in my current state,"

"Always," Elena said with a silly smile on her face and leaned and kissed him. It was a lovely refreshment in this place of despair as it seemed to Damon. Then she turned to his rucksack and took out an apple which she munched on delightfully, while stretching her legs in the little spot they had settled down in. After gathering their breath and strength they were up on their feet and on their way further.

They walked and walked and all there was to do was enjoy their surroundings and each other's company. Damon took pictures once in a while. Elena simply walked determinately, knowing full well they really had no destination, simply a desire to tire themselves out. And so they walked until their legs hurt, until they were dewy from sweat, completely golden from the sun's touch and their eyes shut once in a while, because they were exhausted. But they kept going. When it was already dusk they were back in their mysterious town of Castellane and they immediately went to their car and dropped all their things and themselves inside and were on their way to Marseille – exhausted, but ecstatic which was precisely what they had wanted.

Their way there led them through the gorge. It was a trip of nothing but nature around them. They were both tired, but determined to reach Marseille to not waste funds and time on an unnecessary stop. As they were driving it began to rain. Once again it was an event which seemed both good and bad in itself. As they drove on Elena suddenly said;

"Stop!" And Damon was obedient. And so they stopped a little off the road. Elena stepped out of the car and so did Damon, seeing where she was going with her train of thought. The rain was refreshing upon their hot and dewy skin. It resembled an immense shower and it cooled them off pleasantly. Elena held on to Damon's hand as she twirled in the rain, feeling so free, so alive all of a sudden, it seemed magical. Damon loved the feel of the droplets against his skin – he touched his neck and felt the water running down his skin. He pulled Elena close and stared into her happy eyes and through the rain it occurred to him that she was crying. He realized it wasn't an expression of sadness but rather of pure and untainted joy, so he took her in his arms and kissed her feeling her happiness overtake him. Their trip simply seemed to become better as it went forward and once again they found themselves in a moment, which so many people could have, but they take such occasions for granted. Why not tire yourself out and then run into the rain with your loved one? It seemed such a simple equation. They soon got back in the car and continued driving, but they were both sure that they would never forget that moment, for it was so full of love and joy.

_**II**_

They arrived in Marseille – the highly and widely acclaimed Marseille. It was quite interesting to be in a city once again. They felt like savages, wild beyond anyone's comprehension even their own. They parked the car in an out of the way spot and then with their things walked through the streets of this impressive city, which shone in the warm colours of white and coral orange. The air was caressing them with it's warm softness and lulling them to sleep. They found a cheap motel, which was still reasonably comfortable for the price expected for it and after leaving their things there, showering and dressing like decent people they set out upon the dark streets of the illuminated Marseille. They searched and searched for the perfect restaurant for dinner as they were now on a hunt for a truly perfect place. This walk was in no way taking away from their energy as they felt too hyper to succumb to any diminishing's in their power.

They were walking through an empty street and the silence around them reminded them of that of the forest. Suddenly Elena stopped them and looked into Damon's eyes and upon her lips showed a devilish smile.

"Let's run," She said in a near whisper, but for Damon that was enough. They needed that feeling of adrenaline rushing through their blood again. He took her hand tightly in his and they ran off. Laughing childishly, running with no breath left, leaving people mesmerized and with a smile upon their faces – they ran without a care in the world, past the cafes, the houses, the crowds, stopping in a square completely without a single breath in their lungs and yet Damon took her hands in his and then took her by her waist and lifted her up, carrying her to a bench. He put her upon in, as she stared down upon him happily. She leaned down and kissed him, leaving him enticed by her beauty and her charm beyond words. They found a couple of lanterns and being the senseless and impulsive creatures they were, climbed them, laughing without saying anything. It was a night of catching the little things, the miniscule excitements. Elena held on to the cold metal and felt her dress flow in night breeze, but that did not bother her. She looked at Damon and saw the smile on his face and realized she rarely saw him this happy and her heart beat a little faster knowing she had brought him on this trip, that they were here together now and that nothing else would ever matter, because she knew that it would be the two of them forever, because there could simply be no other way. Damon jumped down and went over to her.

"Milady," He said as he gave her his hand and she jumped down too, right into his grasp. Damon took her to him and kissed her with a fire he had never felt. He wanted every part of her. It was ridiculous, it seemed, to adore every aspect of a person, but with Elena he had no doubt that that was the case and it mesmerized him, but he did not mind. He embraced his love, because he knew that Elena would not deceive him. He knew that loving Elena would only better him in every way possible. She made him act a bit crazy, threw a bit of spice into the mixture of his life and that was precisely what he needed, what every person needs at one point or another.

They finally found a place to have their dinner, because after such a run every place seemed to present a good atmosphere, good wine and good food. As they sat and sipped their white wine they stared into each other's eyes and did nothing but giggle. Damon finally shook his head in dismay, how two grown adults could act so very childishly in a way. Once they were full with tasty food and exquisite wine they set out to their motel. Damon held Elena as she walked next to him slightly tilting her head upon his shoulder.

"Damon," Elena said articulately as she stood up and then went in front of him.

"Elena," He mocked her as she rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to go to sleep,"

"What are you proposing?"

"Let's go by the sea!"

"If you propose to watch the sunrise I will no longer see you as a rational person,"

"No, just to see and smell the water. At night! Can you imagine how lovely it is!"

"Well that does sound tempting. Fine. Let's go. Allons-y! Who needs a good night's sleep and a bed anyway? "

They promenaded to the seaside. The waves were prominent as there was a noticeable breeze upon the air. It was rather chilly, but as Elena twirled and ran and walked she did not feel the cold. She stepped into the water and felt it cool her. The sand felt like feathers after being on rough ground for such a long time. They walked along the coast and then sat down upon a dry patch of sand near the water. Damon held her in his arms as Elena lay in his lap and stared at the starry night.

"Damon,"

"Hmm?"

"I think," Elena hesitated and drew a breath, "I think we should go home,"

"I would agree with you there. What would you say to making a stop at Saint Remy's and then to Avignon?"

"Mmmhm," Elena sighed as she fell into a deep sleep, leaving Damon pondering. They had to go back. They were finished with their search for love and calm and anything else they might have found along the way. It was Paris they needed now, with its artistic influence, their small apartment, their solitude amongst other people. They required reality, because this fantasy had been temporary and they were both aware of it now. Damon took her in his arms and carried her off the coast, where she woke up and they walked back to their motel and fell under the warmth of the blanket completely lifeless after such a day. They slept deeply for nothing could disturb them. Damon held onto her deeply in his sleep, as they were both tucked underneath the blanket tightly and Elena twirled her fingers around his hand. They passed the night in the sweetest sleep one can have – a sleep that only comes after complete exhaustion.

A very early awakening came because of a petite bird chirping on their window ledge. His chirping was so persistent that it awoke the pair at six am. They got dressed and with a known purpose left the hotel empty handed and after finding an open coffee shop took two coffees to go – almond latte and an Americano with a spicy syrup, to each his own and strolled through the quiet streets in the brightening light feeling a light air surround them, leaving a gentle touch of cold air upon their skin. The distance was filled with the sound of 'Sugar Sugar' by The Archies and so their stroll felt slightly upbeat and inspired them with true cheerfulness and made them smile, despite the horrible earliness they had to endure all due to one bird. In this slow stroll they reached the seaside again. It now seemed so much more different. The light made the water look light blue, sky blue even, the waves did not deserve to be called by that name and the sun above them now warmed their skin and blood lightly so they did not feel the chilliness of the night. It was a completely distinct scene and made them ponder how one memory of a place can change so completely only by seeing it in a different light. It was not appropriate to ask the question of which was better. Such standards do not exist with people such as themselves.

"Remember what Bertrand Russell said?"

"No, I don't honestly. Not all of us read philosophical books," Damon muttered.

"It just came to me. Sometimes that happens. It was something along the lines of "_To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.__"" _Elena went quiet for a moment. Her stare became rather sad and noticeably serious and then she lit up again, "It's true isn't it? At least we are not cursed with this tragedy,"

"We are certainly not," Damon said as he kissed the top of her head.

It already seemed like late in the day because the sun was so sweltering; the air stale and streets crowded when they came back to their little motel and took their things. Once properly ready they went out and walked through Marseille. They were terribly determined so they saw practically all the sights one can view in this charming city. Basilique de Notre Dame de la Garde, Cathedrale de la Major, Marseilles Arc de Triomphe, Parc Borely and many more, before returning to their motel for a good night's sleep and their last night in Marseille. The day was culturally very much needed and pleasant in the sense of seeing such magnificent places which they never though their eyes would behold. As they were tired and dropped down in bed, they felt so glad they would now be slowly making their way back. It had been a trip of many adventures and twists and turns of emotions and yet it had turned out for the better as life has the tendency to do. And yet their fire of adventure was still burning, as it will never leave them. They were still the arrogant intellectuals they believed they were, through all their spontaneous tendencies. That all had remained the same. What had changed were their feelings, their notions of each other. And they were now set to stay that way. In their sleep they each dreamt of Paris, perhaps in entirely different scenarios, and yet they both yearned for their apartment and that feeling of being amongst people, but isolating oneself from them for the benefit of the mind.

Bright and early, when people in sunhats were watering plants, birds were promenading the streets, young people were walking with cups of coffee in their hand after a late night, the pair took their things, settled in their small Citroen and were on their way back to Paris. Even though they were set to stop in Saint Remy's and Avignon it was already a trip home. Home to their books, their candles, their walks in the rain, their dates to the movies, their kitchen where when they cooked the ambiance was nothing but excellent and most importantly their life together after a dramatic unraveling of events.


	7. Forests and towns

_**Forests and towns.**_

_**I**_

Burning, sweltering sun warmed their skin as they travelled in the small car. Though their faces were graced with a light breeze from the air conditioning, the clear sky empowered the bright star and let them feel its touch. It was midday. Elena's lips yearned for a beverage, but they were determined not to make stops until arriving at Saint Remy. They knew they were not far, but somehow their desire to end this journey and return home had overtaken them and ensured that they perceived time as passing much slower than before. They endured this drive for only a little while longer, before they saw Saint Remy before their eyes in its Provincial beauty. They saw the brightly lit blue sky above the small houses, the green grape vines, the shrubs, the people bustling about, and the simple life of this town. As they found a sensible place to leave their car, in the cool shade at least for a while, as it was bound to change throughout the day, the decided to stroll around first and feel the air of the little village.

They were both exhausted and hot, but somehow being amongst other people, who were set to go about with their day inspired them. They saw people noisily gather in the local market, purchasing goods which Damon and Elena immediately set their eyes upon – gruyere cheese offered generously in enormous rolls, salami flavoured with hazelnut, olive, black pepper, the list just went on, and of course in charming and vast baskets there many a type of olive. To them this seemed heavenly. Also to be found in such a cheerful atmosphere amongst people, in the small and cosy square, which consisted of small shops – the houses old but with so much soul reflecting the sunlight upon their stained windows, the magnificent colours of the shutters beaming brightly, and the curved and artistic names of the shops inviting with their warmth and familiarity- there were also found artists and trees. It was all so pleasing to the heart that Damon and Elena decided they could not leave this square, which had so enchanted them, before at least participating in this splendid event – and so they bought fresh artisan bread, which they knew would be of use to them soon enough and also hazelnut flavoured saucisson. With their goods in their hands they continued their stroll, knowing that this village would surprise them yet, because anything they laid their eyes on seemed beautiful, exquisite and perfectly suited for this fairy tale place.

Promenading small and vivid streets, which held an antique and cosily old air, had never seemed more delightful. Elena's skin held honey gold radiance as it was illuminated by the pine green dress which fitter her petite silhouette and was graced with subtle pleats on the skirt. Damon walking next to her still felt like himself – in his dark tee, his khaki trousers and his shades. They looked quite the perfect pair and suited the ambiance of this village well with their simplicity, but delicateness. Damon waited leaning against one of the modest houses, tranquil in the parky shade, waiting for Elena to purchase drinks. She returned with two cups of freshly squeezed orange juice and so they walked on leisurely, bathing in the sunshine, their eyes darting from one house to another, savouring the pleasures they were soon bound to forget.

They came to a square, which was created due to a circling of very old houses, one even having a brick tower rising above it. They sat down upon the bench and gazed around them, mesmerized by the preserved beauty of this village. Grape vines curled up the petite houses, there were large trees above them providing a shade and the hoary atmosphere all seemed particularly pleasant. Elena took out the fresh blueberries she had bought in a humble little shop and they munched on the ripe, almost black lilac fruits on the hot day.

"Have you ever considered writing?"

Damon gave her a cheerful look as he quickly took another berry out of its tiny box.

"Writing what? A diary or novels and such?" Elena nodded to both, "Mmm, no. I don't think I would be any good. I think that my skills are better used expressing myself orally, than on paper. I lack the imagination, as you might already know,"

"You are sometimes too convincing when you talk that's true. But you do have imagination! Don't belittle yourself like that. After all you are a painter, is that not true? Or will you just make a snarky comment about this too?"

"I seem to think that to paint, at least how I do it, requires very little of imagination or perhaps none at all. It is so natural and so primitive, for me that I don't quite see it as you do,"

"You just need to hear an outsider's perspective. So now, I tell you – you are a wonderfully creative person, with lots of ideas and especially because you go about your painting with such ease that is what makes you a true artist,"

Damon nearly blushed, because he had never expected to hear such nice things from anyone, let alone Elena, whose approval he desired above all else and in all things. Due to his befuddlement, Damon decided it best not to say anything and he simply gave her a kiss on the cheek, almost a smooch you could say, and went back to pensively picking at his blueberry.

After this moment of stopping time, to sit in the stillness of this square, which was entirely empty, due to everyone gathering in the market place, they took their things and went on to explore the village, more and more coming to the conclusion that they should spend the night there, but not rent a room, but simply delight in the village in order to save money. So they walked calmly, sticking to each other like bee's to honey, and after a while reached the Saint Martin church. The sun gleamed powerfully upon the white stone walls of the building, so that it looked to be emitting purity and innocence in its grandeur. They decided not to go in as it was such a lovely day outside and they were convinced that the outside view was far more impressive than what could be found inside. After admiring the building from one point, they ventured across the street and sat down in the café. Nobody came to attend to them and they preferred it that way – less money spent on coffee, which they could and did drink constantly. Damon took pictures of the church and of Elena, even though her eyes wandered away from the camera and her cheeks blushed in awkwardness. Since the view could not offer more they walked off to explore the many more sites Saint Remy could offer.

_**II**_

The morning was crisp. In the far distance the first haze of sunlight crawled across the mountains. Along with it the first melodies of the crows could be heard if one listened attentively enough. Damon returned to the car with two hot chocolates and gave one to Elena as she sat in the car seat with the door open, her legs dangling out of the car, her shoulders covered with a blanket. Damon stood in front of her and sipped his hot drink, feeling his hands rewarm steadily after the chilliness of the morning air. They had walked around the relatively small village till one o'clock in the morning and then exhausted had returned to their car and slept in the back seat, together, pressed one against the other both for warmth and space. Though their exhaustion had ensured that they both dropped into a deep sleep momentarily. After gathering their strength, purchasing water and fruit they were well on their way to Avignon, by the time when upon the streets were the first early morning risers. So they left the picturesque town of Van Gogh and Nostradamus, where the houses held history and the ambience was far beyond charming. They were coming to a close for their trip and it seemed nostalgically pleasant.

Arriving after less than an hour in Avignon, reminded them of how they had embarked upon their trip. Granted it had not been the best of beginnings, but nevertheless it helped set in motion the events which came about later on. They returned their car to the rental and with all their belongings made their way to the Gare. They purchased train tickets back to Paris, which were not by any means cheap, but they ensured their safe arrival to their city. The tickets were for the next day, so they still had time in the architecturally endowed city. Side by side they walked the cobblestone lanes taking in the city, knowing they would not come there again for a while. They found a square and there a café, ironically named 'Le Café Parisien', and there had a good and hearty lunch. They were once again down to their cups of coffee, when conversation ensued;

"Thank you," Damon smirked at Elena.

"What for?" Elena looked at him bewildered and confused. As far as she knew, she had not done him any favours.

"For being stubborn and persuading me to come on this trip. It has been truly amazing, when I never thought it would be. I thought it would tear us apart, rather than bring us so close,"

"I have to admit that I thought the same, but then I had already proposed it to you. We've done very well, haven't we?" Elena smiled and scooped a spoon with chocolaty mousse.

"I don't think I could be happier,"

They paid for their meal and then set off to look once more at the charming town. They walked to La Colline des Mourges, which was quite a walk from the very centre of town, but it was worth it as they entered what appeared to be a forest, from which the whole city was visible in quite a different light. They walked amongst the pines that bent gently and gracefully. They sat down upon a bench with a view over the burnt reddish rooftops of the small Avignon houses. Damon took out a bottle of cheap wine and poured it into two cups, offering one to Elena. They sat closely beside each other and overlooked the remains of their trip. The sun was close to setting, so the sky was overtaken with a golden cornflower hue. Elena let out her hair and shook it out feeling the breeze cool her after another hot Provence day. They sat there for quite a while, until it was dark and quiet and then they made their way back to the centre through the creepy and still woods, which did fascinate them with their complete and undisturbed touch of wilderness.

The town was silent. There were people in bars and cafes, also promenading the streets, but somehow the atmosphere resembled that of a silent film. Perhaps it was because Damon and Elena simply couldn't care to focus on others, but nevertheless the true charm of Avignon was the quiet and hushed back streets, where the cobblestone pavement took turns and was enclosed by walls of greyish rock. This touch of something primal, something untouched was missing from the powerful modern atmosphere of Paris. Paris, however artistic and 19th century preserved it may be, will always be a city, an urban atmosphere, because the people will make it so, but in Avignon it could be clearly seen, that no one wishes to part with this old air about the buildings, houses, details. And that was the most profound and beautiful element of this city.

They returned to the hotel where they stayed before. The old church clock struck midnight. They climbed in the bed, put the blankets upon them, put on their pyjama tops for warmth and had a cup of hot cocoa before going to sleep. Their alarm was set. Their tickets were in the front pocket of Elena's rucksack and their mood was beyond cheerful and satisfied. They were going home.

_**III**_

The background sounds of the city first hurt their ears. It was unnatural to be returning to such a loud and busy environment but they didn't mind. They arrived at the Gare de Lyon promptly and there stood still for a moment, rather confused. After such a moment, without further ado they set out to their home and after about half an hour they were standing in front of the very door of their small but cosy apartment. A strange sensation overtook them. They had waited so long for this moment, to return to the real world, but now when they were there it seemed too vivid, too real. With certain courage Damon finally opened the door and they went inside, set down their bags and regarded their surroundings. The air was stale, which prompted Elena to immediately open the windows, the kitchen seemed empty and lifeless because they hadn't brought their energy to it for so long, everything seemed too quiet. They knew it had to change.

Elena composed a list, while Damon emptied his duffle bag and then gave it to him, to go to the market and purchase something they could prepare for a nice dinner. There was absolutely nothing left in their kitchen, even the most primitive things had to be bought. Damon showered, found a change of clothes and was soon off to execute his task. Meanwhile Elena knew she had to clean the apartment, and so after turning up the radio, from which burst the overtly sweet and funky pop tunes of the 80s she brought out the vacuum cleaner and attended to the task in hand. After the apartment was vacuumed she cleaned all the surfaces. Then she emptied her rucksack – placing the items they bought at Saint Remy's proudly in the kitchen. Elena felt indescribably happy. She took a shower and after it felt so clean and good, and cosy to be amongst her own surroundings. She danced in the loose pyjama top to Starships's tune "Nothing's gonna stop us now" and felt life pulse through her blood by the minute. Damon came home with a big bag of produce and found Elena so insanely cheerful, that he himself began to feel at ease.

Elena emptied the bag, carefully putting everything in its proper place, while singing. Damon simply stared at her and admired her spirit yet again. After that was done Elena turned to him and went up to him whilst dancing and took his hands in hers moving him with her. He could not be so lively as her, yet he tried. But then when she placed a kiss on his lips, suddenly and profoundly, his arms wrapped around her tightly and he pulled her close to him, feeling her heart race faster and faster. Elena wrapped her legs around him as he lifted her- she was light as a feather and Damon held her body with his hands, passing them down her back. He carried her to the bed and they both fell upon the sheets that were so familiar to them, so cosy, so warm against their skin. Elena took off his shirt and unzipped his trousers, while Damon only removed her top, to find her bare and tender body beneath it. He caressed the skin along her stomach gently and placed a kiss near her belly button, his kisses moved downwards, softly and gently, but Elena could barely breathe. Her hand passed through his hair as she found something to hold onto while he aroused her with kisses. In a moment she found him against her, his body pushing into her, her hands clinging to his back, feeling the sculpted bones, the marble skin and the pleasant weight of him upon her. Damon's hands caressed her thighs, her stomach, her breasts. Their kisses grew more passionate and fiery as they both felt more and more contented. Elena placed kisses upon Damon's shoulder and cheek, then neck, leaving a hickey. She could feel his heart race against her, his eyes glow brightly blue in the dim light of the oncoming storm. Just when the first rain began to drizzle against the window, Damon and Elena clung to each other in a moment of pure joy.

It was quiet. The music no longer played, as the cd had finished long ago. The rain only left soft marks upon the window. Damon and Elena lay in bed under dusky white sheets – partly bare, partly covered. They lay side by side, regarding the ceiling, while Damon silently smoked a cigarette.

"We should probably start cooking dinner, otherwise we will eat in the middle of the night," Elena concluded.

"I wish I could move, but I can't. I'm still too tired. Let's just stay here for a bit and then cook later, together," He smirked at her and Elena couldn't say anything else. He took her under his arm and so they remained still for a while. Then Elena once again put on her loose top and woolly socks and went to the kitchen. Damon looked after her for a while and then did the same himself. They proceeded with dinner – pork chops with oven baked potatoes, lots of seasoning and a simple salad. They sipped their wine, they chatted, they cut up the meat, the salad, the baby tomatoes and they did this now as a couple not as friends who were also roommates. It was a change that had passed them by unnoticed, but they were happier for it. Now, Damon could give her a kiss once in a while, Elena could look at him as freely as she wished, for she did not have to worry about blushing, because he might notice that she likes him. It was now a much simpler way of life. And fortunately this was bound to stay that way.

Their meal was accompanied by a film. They watched it on the laptop while they sat on the sofa and ate their delicious, warm and fresh dinner, which was a nice change to the small meals they had sometimes had to suffice with on the trip. The meat was slightly overcooked, but it was still delicious. The film – 'Almost Famous' was chosen purposely because they wished to feel carefree, feel the easiness of the 70s. The hippy flavour so to speak. It was a simple choice. Elena carried their dishes to the kitchen while humming 'Tiny dancer' to herself and returned with two coffees and two rice puddings. The living room was dark, only the laptop screen and a few candles set by the windowsill illuminated the petite room. The quiet room now reflected their own state of mind. After such an active trip, where they had been forced to be alert at all times and ready for anything in their way, they could now breathe. Breathe in this world, which once had held so many restrictions for them. Now, for the moment at least, it did not matter as they could not see the restrictions themselves anymore. Elena could not wait for a new day, to begin composing a story out of her notes of the trip, Damon wished to start a painting – something slightly abstract, but still comprehensible, which would reflect his emotions towards such an adventure. It was precisely why he wanted to do a painting, because he simply could not express his admiration for it in words. To each his own.

The laptop shut down, the candles burnt out, the rain outside still remained, proving they were in Paris. It did not concern them however because they were both lost in their sleep. But towards the morning Damon awoke and carried Elena to the bed, tucked her in underneath the blanket and fell onto the sheets himself, immediately falling asleep. It was the end of their day. The last day of the trip. Their return to Paris and luckily it had been a truly splendid day.

* * *

_**Note/ **I am truly, truly sorry for the long delay. It has been such a busy time. I must admit it truly killed me not to have time to write. After this chapter there will only be the epilogue, but I hope you do find this chapter pleasant! Yours faithfully, Martina._


	8. Epilogue

_**Epilogue.**_

_**I**_

The season of vivid colours began. Fires were crackling from the small chimneys, leaves were soaked in the rainy day puddles, the remains of their radiant colours tramped over by firm boots, tea was consumed in pints and a certain stillness had taken over the city. There was no longer the cheerful bustle of summer excitement. Now, all had retreated to their snug abodes and with a warm beverage regarded the conditions outside. Even though Elena and Damon did that most days as well, this particular day, something had driven them outside the confines of their house and into the parks of Paris. The sun was shining partly in sharp rays, through clouds, as if cutting them apart with its keen beam; dusk was approaching. Elena and Damon walked in graceful silence, while Damon quietly inhaled the warm smoke from his cigarette. They were both dressed in black, minimalistic and elegant, and both were tired of being coped up in their small apartment, due to the cold harsh wind and the rain. Although the air outside was graced with a cutting chill, the sun brightened their minds and for once they successfully escaped the gloomy notion of the approaching winter. Even though winter might be deemed quite the romantic season, for Damon and Elena it came with a cold and harsh conclusion that they will have to go to great lengths not to freeze to death.

Their apartment, as charming as it may be, was in an old house and since they did not have money to spend here and there they did not have proper heating, electricity was expensive and overall after they spent their funds on rent and food not much was left. Their extravagant summer trip, as much as it might have been needed, had erased all their savings. It was nothing that hadn't happened before, but now as winter was coming along with its dreadful glare, they became more conscious about the problems facing them. Damon took Elena by the hand and led her to the bench, where as he sat down and put out his cigarette, she sat down upon his lap. They sat there mesmerized by their sombrely colourful surroundings and were sure they would fall asleep if it wasn't for the cold. Elena's button nose hid deeper into the scarf that was wrapped thrice around her petite neck as she curled up in Damon's arms. They loved the fact that the air was chilly and that the sun didn't warm them. It seemed refreshing.

They kicked the leaves and slowly walked back to their apartment. Upon entering their skin had turned a soft and smooth pink and their eyes were glowing bright with ice cold freshness. Elena immediately put the kettle on and put two tea bags in two cups. They both then undressed and got into their pyjamas, as they were determined to be lazy. They still felt the cold upon their skin, so while they waited for the slowly boiling water, they got under the blanket in their bed, where the view of the window seemed to be emitting a perfect haze of golden smoke.

"Elena,"

"Hmm?" Elena mumbled with her eyes closed in a dreamy cosiness.

"I have to tell you something. I don't know why I've kept this from you for so long. I suppose I didn't consider it to be too worthy of telling or quite the opposite," Elena rustled under the blanket and sat up in bed attentively. Her eyes expressed a quality of fear, "How I got to know of you wanting a roommate for this apartment was purely accident, as I found it on the internet, but I must say I was drawn to this place for a certain reason. We went to the same lycée together. Though I was in a year above you. Even though I was in the most dramatic time in my relationship with Katherine, I took a liking to you. I honestly did ask your name from one of your classmates, like they do in films. But I never made a move, because of Katherine and because I perceived our characters to be so very different. I could immediately see your energy, even though you were always reserved and rather drawn to solitude and your writing, but your eyes, they always gleamed with what I now know to be your impulsiveness," Damon stopped for a moment, but as he saw that Elena was too lost for words and her stare so confused he went on.

"I will keep the honest truth to myself, so here it is; as I now describe it my affection might seem poetic, but when I came here to see the apartment and finally talk to you, my intentions were of course not so innocent. I saw that you blushed with my flirting and I was drawn in even more, so I decided to use the opportunity. However, what I didn't account for was that we would become such good friends, purely because I did want you as a friend and so I resisted my wish to make a move on you. Though I was waiting for something more all along. And here we are now. As friends and lovers, and anything else that one can possibly say is positive,"

The steam from the kettle rose fiercely, but for a moment still, the water would remain boiling. Elena gazed with profound astonishment at the even more confused Damon and after taking a deep breath said;

"Why did you tell me that?"

And after a befuddled pause Damon said with wide eyes; "I don't know,"

Elena got up and went to the kitchen, poured the tea and then returned to the bed with their cups, still not glancing at Damon. She quietly slurped her hot drink and pondered on what to ask, because it seemed appropriate to have questions in such a situation, however she lacked imagination as to what to ask. Damon stirred his honeyed tea and looked at Elena intently, waiting for something – a response, an emotion. He hadn't realized that this story had many sides to it. It was poetic in a way, that they had met earlier on, that he had liked her then, however there was also the aspect of him honestly admitting that his only intention had been to sleep with her. Damon feared Elena's reaction, he awaited it in cold sweat as he knew that he had not expressed himself in the right words or with the emotion, the profound emotion, which he was capable of when it came to anything to do with Elena.

"Damon, I think that we best forget this. As much as I in some way feel happy to know that our relations go back further in the past, than I had thought, I don't think I want to dwell on that too much,"

"I just want you to know and trust the notion that with time I fell in love with you and in some ways, it might have even been love at first sight, though I never understood it,"

"You don't have to make excuses. It's all in the past,"

"Elena, stop this," Damon put down her cup and looked straight into her eyes with an icy look, mimicking the one she was gracing him with, "You are hiding behind your own words. That's not how you feel. You can't lie for the life of you and your attempt shines right through you,"

"Do you want me to be mad? Do you want me to be offended? I don't understand you, Damon!" Elena's eyes grew larger by the minute and the raven black turned a shiny, watery hue, "I am very simply avoiding the subject and I thought you would do the same. Let us just stop talking and go to sleep. I am so very tired,"

Without further words Elena drank the rest of her tea and got under the blanket, closing her eyes, her mind uttering words of encouragement for her to be lulled into a deep sleep. She knew Damon was still sitting upright next to her and looking at her and it made her feel embarrassed, although there was no reason to be. Hushed by the warmth and her profound desire to sleep, Elena was soon breathing quietly next to him, with her eyes tightly shut. Damon, trying his best not to disturb her, went out of the room, closed the door and then stood against it for a moment. He realized he had nothing he wanted to do. It was a frightening revelation, as it showed his lack of incentive to in fact do anything in life. With passive, slow steps he went into the kitchen and poured a glass of whisky for himself, then sat down on the living room sofa and sat there until the light in the room began to grow dim and then turn entirely dark, leaving him in the still of night.

_**II**_

Elena awoke with shivers. She rushed to the window of their room and shut it tightly. The air in the room seemed to be foggy and every surface was cold to the touch. After covering her with the duvet her eyes glanced around the room and regarded the chilly, cutting near winter air sit still above her. It was nearly 6 o'clock in the morning. Damon was nowhere in sight, so she hoped that he was at least on the sofa in the living room, not outside wandering in the terrible cold. Her eyes turned to the window and even though the early morning sun could not be seen, she knew it was there as the hint of light breathed through the milky fog. Elena put on a coat, leaving on her bordeaux pyjama bottoms, and quietly sneaked out into the living room, where she found a resting Damon. Taking the duvet she covered him with him, feeling the same iciness in the air as in the other room and then tiptoed out for a morning stroll in the autumn consumed city.

After making a stop at her favourite café, Elena strolled the streets with a coffee in hand. She walked through the most beautiful pathways, where leaves were falling around her in already prominent piles and the leaves, colourful and bright as they were, were the size of two hands put together. To this already charming view was gracefully added the soft light, that passed through the branches of trees, into Elena's eyes, blinding her, but making her feel wondrous. There are few pleasures in life that we now appreciate, so it is no use letting such insignificant, but truly marvellous moments pass by. Elena was glad she had gone outside, not only for the walk, which was much appreciated, but to clear her head. The morning was silent. Very few people walked the quiet, small streets of the Latin Quarter. Silence is a favourable aspect, because in a world so loud, the mind loses its ability to be quiet and think. Think about all we want and all we truly need. Things which might seem important, but after consideration can be soon forgotten. Elena was satisfied with her life. She had never dreamt of great wonders, of becoming someone notable and important. For her it sufficed that she had her small apartment in the heart of Paris, the man she could relate to and loved by her side and that she was studying what she wanted and she was writing with the utmost of inspiration and creativity. Material pleasures had never been truly important, so she did not fret that she could not afford much. Elena still worked some nights at the café, where people grew not to like her more and more, because she never left to drink with them after work, because she preferred Damon's company and even her own, more to that of the people there, who worked hard as she did all week, but threw away the money on alcohol once they had their hands on it. There are different manners of living of course and Elena had a clear view on hers.

Walking and thinking as much as she did Elena worried she would make her usual and common mistake of turning things into something worse than they are. She did have the tendency to overanalyse and exaggerate, even with her impulsive personality, because she herself had always known, that her conflicting personality was a burden rather than a blessing. She was quiet and reserved, calm and composed, but within her was a bright fire that sparked the spontaneity and the impulsiveness, that people so admired. She was not pretending, Elena was just tired. Tired of herself. Of being incapable to stop pondering about things, which were already settled. Things which were supposed to be already forgotten. Deep in thought Elena finally came home, her cheeks a warm berry colour. Upon entering the apartment, she already saw Damon - he had just woken up and was rubbing his eyes.

"Elena?" He turned towards the door and saw her take her coat off and stand there in pyjamas, "What time is it?"

"Now I think it's about half past seven. You've always been a late riser,"

"You can't possibly be telling me, that you've already been out for a walk?" Damon looked at her tired and bemused.

"I can and I have," Elena said brightly and then went into the kitchen putting the kettle on to boil, making herself a cup of calming camomile tea and strong black coffee for Damon, "It will be pancakes this morning so you'll have to settle for that,"

"I don't mind," Damon said a bit confused, because Elena truly was so cheerful, "Can I ask, without spoiling it, what is the reason behind your charming mood?"

"I thoroughly enjoyed my walk and also I just knew it was going to be a good day," Elena worked in the kitchen and gathered up all she needed for the pancakes, "Eggs, eggs … I know you have forgotten Damon, because I myself had forgotten this, but we are supposed to go to my parent's today,"

"Uh-oh. That is today?" Damon felt a sting in his heart.

"Mmmhm. You really have nothing to be nervous about. They are really nice people and they will adore you. As soon as you tell them that you are an artist and paint my mum will not leave you alone and my dad will ask too many questions about how you plan to materially support yourself, but don't answer them, it's a trick,"

"You are inspiring, Elena,"

Elena put down her bowl: "I'm sorry. Don't worry. They are really calm and friendly. You'll see. I need to finish breakfast. Then we should go to the store and buy them a bottle of wine or chocolate or something for the gesture, I don't see them that often,"

"If I would buy flowers for your mum, would they see it as a nice gesture?"

"I think anyone would,"

"Elena, yesterday, we didn't end the day on good terms," Damon said cautiously and saw Elena stop mixing the batter. She turned to him and as he came towards her, she took his face in her hands.

"Damon, yesterday our argument was all for nothing. What is in the past should stay there. I know that I am a nostalgic by nature, but I tend not to look back, if only to learn from my past and not repeat my faults," She turned on the stove and put oil on the pan, "I admit, I thought too much today about where I am and who I want to become, and everything that follows along those lines. Honestly, you can never decide, as determined as you are, what you want to be like or what you want your surroundings to resemble, but whenever there is something good around you that should be kept and nurtured and I think that us, we just flow along the stream of life flawlessly," Elena said with determination and then playfully touched his cheek leaving small sparkles of flour upon it.

"It does sound like you thought too much. The next time you go for a walk, take me with you. We can then collect our chaotic thoughts together," Elena smiled, mirroring Damon's happiness. It was going to be a beautiful day, because a day primarily turns either for the best or the worst, depending on the attitudes of people and at times very particular events. The autumn cheer they both felt radiated through the day and we can say that their evening would bring not change, but a definitive conclusion to the questions they each have.

_**III**_

Arriving in Chartres, Damon could not possibly feel more nervous. With wine and blooming pink camellias in his hands they came up to the cottage, where Elena's parents lived. It was a rather worn house, but it had a sense of cosy shabbiness about it. It had been in Elena's family for generations and so it was dear to her. The house itself was found a little outside Chartres itself – white with dark brown cherry wood detailing and ornaments it looked rustic and almost well preserved. The house had a small garden in front and a rather more prominent in the back. When Elena rang at the door, it became clear to Damon where they were and that he would have to make a good impression otherwise he would never forgive himself.

The door opened swiftly and in front of them stood a very attractive man of about forty years old, wearing a blue button down shirt and khaki trousers. He had sandy blond hair with streaks of grey and was smiling light heartedly.

"Hello, my darling," He said as he embraced Elena tightly. Elena's heart was overflowing with joy, seeing her father so happy and overjoyed, "And who is this young man?" He turned to Damon with the same smile and enthusiasm.

"Damon. Damon Salvatore, ,"

"Oh, hush. Grayson, please. Sweet, they are here, come say hello!" He said loudly across the hall, "Come in, come in,"

"Oh you both look lovely, you must be hungry as a pack of wolves by now, though," Elena's mother came out from one of the rooms and approached them with a smile, whilst taking off her apron, "Ooh, hello, hello, my love," She embraced Elena and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "And hello …"

"Damon," Grayson added.

"Damon! Well what an interesting name," She spoke with delight as she embraced him too. Damon gave her the flowers and the red wine and they were pleasantly surprised by his kindness. After they had taken off their coats all of them retired to the living room where they all shared a glass of wine and then went into the dining room to have luncheon. By the dining room there was the garden – the long, high French window accentuated the view outside, which was of clear autumn. There was a large maple growing just beside the house, so naturally the green lawn was entirely covered with vivid leaves and the sun crept in through the window illuminating the room, whilst they enjoyed a home-cooked meal, made from the most delicious recipes. The conversation flowed easily and after a second glass of wine and the generally open and carefree atmosphere of the room, Damon no longer felt under pressure and enjoyed the time there.

"So, Damon, you and Elena go to the same university?" Grayson began.

"We do. I must admit it is an amazing place and I don't want to leave it,"

"Elena already has told us a lot about you, so we cannot remain completely ignorant of that, but all she has said has been kind and praising,"

Damon shot a glance at Elena who was sipping her wine, apparently embarrassed and so he smiled and said;

"She has probably praised me too much. But I have to say she is like nobody I have ever met,"

"Oh, Grayson isn't he just as charming and sweet as we thought he'd be!" Miranda called out light-heartedly.

Elena saw Damon blush lightly and so she knew the evening was going well.

After a couple of hours of chatting away, Damon and Elena announced that they had to leave, because the last train was going in half an hour. Elena's parents offered to drive them to the station and in a little while they were there and saying their goodbyes. Grayson shook Damon's hand and then embraced him and by his eyes one could tell that he considered Damon as one of his own. Miranda embraced Damon and kissed him twice and then told him quietly to look after Elena. Then, as Damon and Elena went off to their train, Miranda and Grayson headed home, both mutually agreeing on Damon's good character.

Elena and Damon took their seats on the train and after a while felt it begin to move gently, pulling them back to Paris. Elena's head of chocolate hair fell upon Damon's shoulder as she sighed deeply.

"This day has been wonderful, but it's been so long. I just need to rest,"

"I know. Through this nerve wracking experience I have lost all my strength,"

"You exaggerate! It wasn't that bad,"

"I was worried the entire time. Trust me; I am usually prone to saying something stupid. Today I simply lucked out," Damon muttered, "I've also never met a girl's parents before. That was not a breezy experience,"

Elena sat up: "What? You never have?"

"No. I've never been in a something serious before. Not only that, nobody I've ever been with has ever asked me to meet her parents, so it wasn't entirely my fault,"

"That is strange, but I am not that surprised about it. You so have this bad boy ambiance about you, so that is usually not someone you take to see your parents, but I think those girls underestimated your actual personality,"

"Elena, I think you forget that before you I wasn't all that charming. I won't deny the fact that you changed me. Something about you made me become a better person. How can one regret that?"

Elena took Damon's hand in hers and held it tightly: "Damon, I didn't change you. I just brought out the good that you already had within you. And I love you just the way you are. Don't ever change!"

Damon's lips immediately found hers and they felt the desire for each other build up in them. It was late afternoon. The sun burnt flaming orange far away near the horizon. The train moved at a steady speed. Damon and Elena sipped coffee taken from the bar. Outside the window they could see the birds begin to migrate south. The view remained the same – partially bare trees, slopes consumed with leaves. This is where we come to an end of what might be a romance or perhaps something more. This particular scenery deserves this ending. They are on a journey once more. Even this one will end in a very short time; it is no less of a journey than any other. The emotional bumps and the dramatic turns have led them to something incredible and that is what anyone and everyone deserves. Elena and Damon are two people madly in love, people who will never let go from what they have learned and what they have gained. Even though they look back at their past as they are both nostalgic they do it cautiously as to not fall back into undesirable conditions. Friendship and love is a challenging and usually unenviable problem, but they have survived it bravely and have set their own terms.

Sitting now by the moving scenery, regarding the disappearing sun, listening to _'Feels Like Heaven' _from the same headphones, they know they have made the right decisions up to this moment and await the upcoming adventures, because they both know that with their exploding personalities they will lead a mesmerizing life. As they arrive in Paris and walk out of the station, they once again feel the cool autumn air. The city is silent. The streets are taken by lonely cars. They walk the boulevard and see the lights inside the cafés and feel the lights warmth within them. In a moment rain droplets begin to drip slowly upon them. Having nothing to hide under they promenade further while others rush inside buildings. The rain hits powerfully upon the pavement. They are alone.

_**The end. **_


End file.
